Damn. We almost had a royal flush. This doesn’t include my husband’s positive & I suspect 1 false negative. We didn’t gather/dine in/travel. Skipped church/Xmas. Masked. Distanced. 2/6 of us had 1st vaccine. 3/6 of us had no symptoms. And first sign of something off was 12/25.

Looking back, the single day of runny nose & low grade temp from my kindergartener was it. We didn’t test right away. Blamed cedar & “kid stuff.” He was quarantining anyway. And he infected us ALL despite precautions. 9.5 mo of caution. It came down to one snotty nose. One. 2/

So, I am both terrified relieved. Relieved that if my baby tests positive, we might be safe for 3 mo. Terrified because people younger than us, healthier than us have died. Terrified that I’m short of breath typing this. Of things worse than death such as long term effects. 3/

Terrified of long-hauler syndrome. Chronic fatigue as parents of 4. Memory loss affecting our ability to practice medicine. Relieved that I got my mother and stepfather scheduled for vaccines. Terrified it isn’t going to be soon enough. Terrified because my dad isn’t. 4/

Terrified we all now have “pre-existing conditions” on our insurance records. Angry it killed my grandma. That people care more about possessions than health of others. That people still scream in others’ faces saying they’re “not sick!” Well, neither were we. Until we were. 5/

We will hopefully be okay. We had a very close call bc we’ve been responsible. Many have not. Our local positivity was 26.4% last week. It’ll be higher the next 3 wk. The question is, how many more will die before people are immune? And who has to die before people believe us? /X

And no one’s asked, but my sister isn’t isolating. She doesn’t have to because we heeded CDC guidelines and she’s 1350 miles away like she’s been since March. The guilt I would’ve felt if I’d infected our mother is unbelievable. Thankfully I don’t have to deal with that, either.