Alright here go. Here is the thread as promised. https://twitter.com/kamikaixin/status/1343356445023109121

I spilled salsa one sec

Ok one more warning: it’s a bit dark so if you don’t like that pls no read. I mean, the ending is happy, but it’s a bit dark in the beginning.

There is a point in one’s pain where the hurt/negative emotions/suffering becomes so great that the mental pain becomes very physical, or vice versa. You wallow a bit in your own head, keeping your head above the sad, but then everything starts to drown you.

Anxiety, insecurities, feelings of control until you actually reach the point of absolute despair that seizes your entire being. And the hurt is just too great to bear because you see nothing ahead anyway. And you want to die.
I wanted to die.