My 2020: a thread.
In a year of prolonged turmoil & more cheese consumption than was probably necessary,I’ve been looking at my albums,to see how my year compared to many others. What I found was at least 8 months of mixed media drivel & Jack Torrance levels of typewriter time.
In a year of prolonged turmoil & more cheese consumption than was probably necessary,I’ve been looking at my albums,to see how my year compared to many others. What I found was at least 8 months of mixed media drivel & Jack Torrance levels of typewriter time.
It all started promisingly, much like the first couple of hours of a student house party, with a couple of script prizes & comp placements.
Then Covid hit and I found myself separated from both my daughter (visiting her daily, through a window, like I was her lawyer & she was in Midnight Express) and my lady, whose job in the NHS made any contact a no-no. This would last more than 120 days.
So, I tried taking my mind off my loneliness and lack of human touch by filling my days with activities. First I tried that weird handstand T-shirt exercise...
There was a moment of euphoria as an Instagram algorithm told me I was sexy....
Of course, I’d had grand plans for my 40th, like travelling to Canada or Budapest. However, with my choices limited to here and.....here, I took to the streets on a series of night walks. Like Batman, without the crime fighting, but with a camera.
Still, from a work perspective, I had something of a banner year, writing 3 feature screenplays, 2 short scripts and a 12 part web series. 3 of these projects were optioned, while one, THE MIRE, is currently in pre-production...
I read my daughter virtual bedtime stories, there were zoom calls, Skype chats, podcast guest spots and a dizzying array of digital alternatives to life outside the four walls I (and everyone else) found myself in...
And while the world has shifted in unsettling ways, I count myself lucky. I’ve had more than my fair share of good fortune in 2020, in spite of the many moments of depression & despair, of doubt & desperation. Nobody had an easy ride. But support was there....
Support in many forms, not least of which, my love @ThatGirlJaneFox who was able to lift my spirits while working for our NHS, during one of the most urgent years of our lives...
And from not only my family, including my two brothers and my 73 year old mother, but my friends here on Twitter, who showed an immense amount of kindness and compassion to many during the past months.
And also my daughter, who would take pictures like this for me...
And also my daughter, who would take pictures like this for me...
But what did I learn from the year in which we were brought to our knees (and not in a good way) by a tiny, spiky ball of body-wrong?
What did I really learn?
Well, for a start, I learned that the copious array of streaming sites was a miracle of distraction.
What did I really learn?
Well, for a start, I learned that the copious array of streaming sites was a miracle of distraction.
I learned that loneliness multiplied by sexual frustration will lead me to strange, desperate conclusions, such as the time I noticed that my lady had the same size boobs as a particular movie star, which she found most amusing, while I continued to cry alone in my empty bed...
I learned that my sleeping patterns fluctuated depending on how stressed out I was, leading to many
2 ams in which I stared at my ceiling, which looked like this...
2 ams in which I stared at my ceiling, which looked like this...
And with a lack of places to go, I learned that any glimpse of a rainbow would cause me to spasm with an odd mixture of hope and depression.
But I learned, above all else, that hope is possible, even if it requires a journey inside your own mind. Perspective, love, a sense of our fragility, of how small we are. All these emotions, all these lessons, are a humbling lesson to not just me, but all of us.
And, to sign off, if I’m completely honest, I learned that I would blow ten crack addicts for a Dominos pizza. It’s been 10 months since my last pepperoni passion.
10 months. And the closest thing I’ve had to one, was a pizza I bought at Asda that seemed to be mocking me...
10 months. And the closest thing I’ve had to one, was a pizza I bought at Asda that seemed to be mocking me...
Here’s to 2021!
Wishing all of you the best!
Wishing all of you the best!
