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it's a damn fine day for Final Fantasy 12, the oft-maligned child that sometimes gets unfairly blamed for the relentless opium binge highs and lows that were Square-Enix's latter entries
often referred to as "The Shakespeare of Final Fantasies," it is the only entry where a guy gets married and then dies horribly in, like, the first two minutes
(this is a subtle nod to Shakespeare's frequent use of killing people who are married)
(this is a subtle nod to Shakespeare's frequent use of killing people who are married)
Final Fantasy 12 also was one of the rare Final Fantasies to feature non-human races, such as the Bangaa, which are lizard...bunnies? Salamanders? I don't know, but a number of them have Scottish accents and most of them hate you
like I don't know what the hell this blue thing is supposed to be
some kind of cat iguana
but I think he's played by John DiMaggio so that was a real fun treat for me, recognizing that
I was all like "woah, Jake is telling me to run fetch quests"
some kind of cat iguana
but I think he's played by John DiMaggio so that was a real fun treat for me, recognizing that
I was all like "woah, Jake is telling me to run fetch quests"
another race are the Seeq
which is pretty neat because they look like their own creatures and not like modern fantasy trash where you blend, like, an owl and a human and call it a day
it lent the game a real Star Wars Cantina quality, another reference to Shakespeare
which is pretty neat because they look like their own creatures and not like modern fantasy trash where you blend, like, an owl and a human and call it a day
it lent the game a real Star Wars Cantina quality, another reference to Shakespeare
and don't forget the Viera, the reclusive and frankly kind of jerk-ish clan of the Wood
now I know what you're thinking "does this make me a furry for looking at this?"
and that's not something I can answer for you
but honestly probably yeah
now I know what you're thinking "does this make me a furry for looking at this?"
and that's not something I can answer for you
but honestly probably yeah
and, a final fantasy mainstay, the Moogles
throughout FF's histories, Moogles have been many things: mechanics, merchants, guides
in 12, they are people who sold you drugs in high school
throughout FF's histories, Moogles have been many things: mechanics, merchants, guides
in 12, they are people who sold you drugs in high school
final fantasy 12 is also the final fantasy where squeenix famously decided "fuck it, everyone is hot"
you'll find no Cait Siths or GoGos here
these are your leads: Vaan and Penelo, not necessarily heroes as their hairstyles are interesting but not JRPG interesting
you'll find no Cait Siths or GoGos here
these are your leads: Vaan and Penelo, not necessarily heroes as their hairstyles are interesting but not JRPG interesting
now we're getting somewhere
this is Balthier, who is the only character you'll ever meet that can pull off 2000s hair, a turtleneck and rave jewelry at the first time
Balthier was voiced by Gideon Emery, who has an English accent (a subtle nod to Shakespeare's use of English)
this is Balthier, who is the only character you'll ever meet that can pull off 2000s hair, a turtleneck and rave jewelry at the first time
Balthier was voiced by Gideon Emery, who has an English accent (a subtle nod to Shakespeare's use of English)
this is Ashe, whom you can tell by her extremely complicated outfit, is the lead
or she might be the protagonist; it's not quite clear
it's complicated
complicated and hard to explain
like this outfit
or she might be the protagonist; it's not quite clear
it's complicated
complicated and hard to explain
like this outfit
and then rounding out the cast of characters is Abs McDaniel
whose got a beef with his bad boi brother who betrayed both baron and barony for bullion
also back there is Fran, hi Fran
whose got a beef with his bad boi brother who betrayed both baron and barony for bullion
also back there is Fran, hi Fran
now where FF12 was maligned, but proved oddly prescient, was in the use of Gambits: simple AI commands designed to streamline combat
at the time, it was derided as being a single player MMO
later, we realized that other people were awful and single player was good actually
at the time, it was derided as being a single player MMO
later, we realized that other people were awful and single player was good actually
Gambits essentially allowed you to tailor your characters to roles of their choosing, setting up behaviors for tanks, damage, heals, crowd control, etc.
FF12 took shit for it, but it actually presaged the idle/clicker series and refined their principles
FF12 took shit for it, but it actually presaged the idle/clicker series and refined their principles
they adjusted the system of buying skills to be more like expected Final Fantasy Jobs, but defeating enemies bought you License Points which you used to unlock basic shit like How To Wear Hats
a subtle nod to Shakespeare's use of grid-based progression systems
a subtle nod to Shakespeare's use of grid-based progression systems
now you're probably thinking, what with my constant stream of shitposts, that the story must also be equally ludicrous
well, in that you're sadly mistaken because FF12 actually had one of the more complex worlds and stories of the series
well, in that you're sadly mistaken because FF12 actually had one of the more complex worlds and stories of the series
set in the world of Ivalice (of the Final Fantasy Tactics Advance series), 12 takes place against a backdrop of political strife and warfare where individual intrigues and codes of honor often are pitted against the realities of wars and the injustice of compromise
also this lady
also this lady
dialogue and characters did a great job of establishing this, often having different cultures caught in different ambitions and no one escaping unscathed
at the time, this sort of shit was groundbreaking
before Game of Thrones, we had...Game of Final Fantasy XII: The Zodiac Age
at the time, this sort of shit was groundbreaking
before Game of Thrones, we had...Game of Final Fantasy XII: The Zodiac Age
the primary antagonists, though, were the Archadian Empire
which is like Storm Troopers except instead of building massive death fleets, they invested it all into costuming
(im kidding, of course, they also have a massive death fleet)
which is like Storm Troopers except instead of building massive death fleets, they invested it all into costuming
(im kidding, of course, they also have a massive death fleet)
now bear with me, because FF12's system of morality was mostly accent-based
evil people always have British accents in this game
not the nice ones, the "oi guv ill blatter me hen innit" ones
the SLIGHTLY nicer accents are good guys
but the ones with TOO nice accents are also bad
evil people always have British accents in this game
not the nice ones, the "oi guv ill blatter me hen innit" ones
the SLIGHTLY nicer accents are good guys
but the ones with TOO nice accents are also bad
Vaan, our hero, has an American accent because he came here to kick Imperial ass and to do whatever the fuck is happening here:
(12 gets roasted for this and for good reason: it is one of the most ridiculous minigames in a series that has squat minigames)
(12 gets roasted for this and for good reason: it is one of the most ridiculous minigames in a series that has squat minigames)
you're probably fucking riveted right now after seeing that
I don't blame you
it's like your first kiss, everyone experiences it differently
anyway I'll finish this later or whenever I feel like it because I have many drugs to do
the chase theme rules tho
I don't blame you
it's like your first kiss, everyone experiences it differently
anyway I'll finish this later or whenever I feel like it because I have many drugs to do
the chase theme rules tho
