Read on Twitter
Chile...I called my girl LaSha to discuss the latest in my dating life. In response to what I said, she asked me a question. Somehow, answering it led me to confess I ain’t been serious about a relationship in the last 3yrs because I ain’t got it in me to be disappointed again.
I don’t think we talk enough about how enduring relationship trauma can look like the decision to never place yourself in a situation to be hurt like that again. Some dismiss it as bitterness/jaded/giving the last guy too much power when it’s not that at all. It’s about survival.
Some of us have been entertaining these dudes on our terms, as far as we wanted it to go, because we could dictate the outcome. If it was just vibes (I hate that phrase... LOLOL), we let it be that because we could control it.
The last two years have been just that for me and I needed it for my own healing and restoration.
But when situations try to pull us out of that space and into more, we’ve been resistant because we simply don’t have the capacity to believe *this* time will be any different.
But when situations try to pull us out of that space and into more, we’ve been resistant because we simply don’t have the capacity to believe *this* time will be any different.
We talk about how insanity is doing the same thing over and over while expecting different results but there’s little to no space to name that’s exactly what some sisters have been doing as they’ve put themselves out there to believe that the next time would be different.
I’m not saying this is every sister. And I’m definitely not saying this for you to offer some advice I didn’t ask for and don’t plan to follow. I’m also not saying this as if I’m depressed about my current quarantinetionships. I’m good. LOLOL
But I am saying it to acknowledge a truth for myself and some other sisters, too. We just ain’t got it and we’re working hard to build lives filled with joy and happiness that aren’t predicated on someone else having to be part of it for them to exist.
And, instead of living in societies that will blame us for that decision, I wish we received more grace and the systems, ideologies and individuals that have led us to these conclusions were held accountable in ways they need to be.
