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Four years ago I told The Front Bottoms that I was sexually assaulted by one of their members on their tour bus after a show and they just... ignored it. They didn’t call me back. They didn’t update me with what they thought or wanted to do. They just didn’t talk to me again.
and I know their fans like to defend them by saying “Ciaran isn’t in the band anymore” but they kept him in the band after they knew. They didn’t explain that decision to me. They left me completely in the dark thinking they didn’t believe my accusation or wanted to cover it up.
A year later I was on the verge of going public about this when a member of TFB reached out to me. In the conversations that followed, I confronted them about how I felt they mistreated me and mishandled my accusation
Throughout our conversations, they used multiple different excuses to explain why they did what they did, even when those excuses contradicted what they previously said or directly blamed me. I never knew if what I was hearing was the truth.
In the end, their most official excuse was that they had to keep Ciaran in the band because they had a “contractual obligation” to tour with Blink-182 that following summer and couldn’t find a replacement for him in time.
Keep in mind that tour was 7 months after I told them, and that excuse said nothing about why they couldn’t just answer my texts or call me back after I disclosed a super personal & traumatic experience to them because I genuinely believed they would care and do something to help
Imagine hearing that you lost your mind, and your friends, and your ability to trust other people all because a band had to tour with Blink-182. They really said it like it explained and justified everything. Like I was just collateral damage to their careers. I was floored.
And I know this doesn’t say enough about Ciaran, whose behavior started all of this, but it should be just as unacceptable that TFB’s response to sexual assault was to quietly fire Ciaran, months later, at their own convenience, without ever addressing the assault or the victim
TFB even told me that, after I told them about the assault, they “met with their management team and lawyers to discuss Ciaran’s immediate termination from the band” but because of that tour with Blink, they had to wait.
If that’s true, that means they knew this was real. That means they knew this was serious. But instead of seeing it as something real and serious TO ME. Their only concern was how it affected THEM. They didn’t tell me about that plan. They didn’t even tell Ciaran about that plan.
So instead of imposing clear and direct consequences for his behavior, and instead of trying to hold Ciaran accountable for what he did, they just seemingly let it slide. They let him continue to work for them. They let him continue to tour and drink and meet people.
Meanwhile, I was left feeling like a fool. I was left feeling so small. I tried to address this privately and they blew it off. Why would I think addressing it publicly would go any better for me? Their silence spoke volumes. I didn’t feel like there was anything I could do.
Even when TFB eventually fired Ciaran, they didn’t tell me they did that. They didnt make a statement about his firing or about his behavior. They didnt clarify if it had anything to do with the assault. Firing him made it so he was no longer their responsibility, and that’s it.
After he was fired, Ciaran went on to start a solo project (he was still releasing music as of this year). TFB never publicly objected to his solo project, and Ciaran continued to be supported by TFB’s fans and TFB’s platform because of it.
When I named Ciaran (and Dylan of Tiny Moving Parts) on twitter in February 2019, neither Ciaran nor TFB responded to my accusation, even though they both had more than enough information to address it. They didn’t even respond when Dylan made a statement of his own.
In May 2020, I brought this up on twitter again, this time bringing up TFB. Again, neither Ciaran nor TFB made any sort of response.
Now I have to see TFB publicly take a stand against injustices, or associate with artists who tend to speak up about sexual assault, when they’ve done what they’ve done here, know it, and just keep brushing it under the rug.
I can’t help but feel that TFB thinks that as long as they don’t address this, it won’t affect them, no matter how that affects me.
Once again, they’re choosing to put the reputation of their band before the need to address an assault or help a victim. It feels deliberate at this point.
The last thing I’ll say is that, these assaults should’ve never happened in the first place, but I also should’ve never had to focus my time and energy on calling these people out because they won’t just admit or take responsibility for what they’ve done.
These situations have taken so much from me. These situations continue to take so much from me. Yet these people and these bands do nothing, or do the bare minimum, and then feel justified in pushing forward like this is all in the past. It’s not.
If we are ever going to meaningfully address assault in situations like this, the end goal cannot be clearing a band’s name by letting them cut ties with abusers or harm doers while expecting absolutely nothing else from them.
Obviously every situation is different and there’s no one size fits all response. I’m also not saying that bands have to overextend themselves or assume roles they aren’t qualified for
I’m just saying that there’s a big difference between a band firing someone as ONE part of their response to a sexual assault, and a band firing someone because that person is a liability to their band as long as they have assault allegations attached to them.
And bands should not just get to cut ties with abusers, or donate to charity, or partner with consent education organizations, if all they’re doing is rebranding to survive a scandal.
That’s not helping anyone but themselves. That’s only maintaining the status quo.
Responses to things like this have to center the victim. They have to be about preventing any further harm whether the harm doer is still in your band or not. Obviously no one person can guarantee that, but if you’re going to claim you cared, you at least have to try.
Anyway, if you want to know more about this, I’ve detailed what happened in the statements below. These stories are long, but there’s no good way to summarize this without leaving holes that people would pick on.
About Ciaran & TFB
TW: sexual assault
https://docs.google.com/document/d/134GI68egeu_TAKOkZ0e92K-CKmPF_b6PogWY4A5iJx8/export?format=pdf
About Ciaran & TFB
TW: sexual assault
https://docs.google.com/document/d/134GI68egeu_TAKOkZ0e92K-CKmPF_b6PogWY4A5iJx8/export?format=pdf
About Dylan
TW: sexual assault
https://docs.google.com/document/d/1bzaC4MUkzv6X-HAzK1oh1NxoIO6fnJoo-HqXCiyZr08/export?format=pdf
TW: sexual assault
https://docs.google.com/document/d/1bzaC4MUkzv6X-HAzK1oh1NxoIO6fnJoo-HqXCiyZr08/export?format=pdf
