Read on Twitter
Let's discuss polyamory and ethical nonmonogamy a bit before 2020 is over because you all still don't know what it is and refuse to use the Google.
As a Black woman, I was socialized that my body and energy were supposed to be trained up and disciplined to appeal to heterosexual men. This included the performance of monogamy because I was supposed to belong to that *one* man.
He was supposed to be able to dictate how I use/d my body, maybe even giving my whole grown ass "permission" to engage the world as I wished.
As I discovered that this was uncomfortable for me in high school, I bumped into monogamous people who assumed my issue was about sex when, in actuality, my issue is and always has been with control.
I fundamentally believe that I get to decide when and where I enter. I choose my relationships each day. Being married or committed doesn't mean I can't grow or change my mind.
I'm polyamorous because I believe in my inherent freedom and I believe in ethically engaging everyone (strangers, friends, lovers, and family).
Compulsory monogamy (or monogamy that is expected, assumed, and enforced irrespective of consent) is not a form of true Black liberation or love. It reproduces power dynamics we work so hard to dismantle. Choosing monogamy is one thing, but expecting and enforcing it is another.
Polyamory is not a lifestyle. It's a lovestyle. It's how I love. It's not something I do. It's part of who I am. Loving all Black people (platonically or romantically or otherwise) is my praxes. And polyamory is an extension of that.
I think it's important to realize that healthy nonmonogamy is a thing. And assuming all nonmonogamy is unhealthy and unethical is fucked up and ahistorical.
My husband and nesting partner @darenwjackson who I've been married to for fifteen years is monogamous. I am polyamorous. I have other partners who I love very very much. It's a thing.
If you're still wondering about it, we talk about it on our podcast @thatblkcouple.
Listen to #ThatBlackCouple Ep 27 - The Entanglement Episode (or How We Do Polyamory) by That Black Couple on #SoundCloud https://soundcloud.app.goo.gl/wRxi
Listen to #ThatBlackCouple Ep 27 - The Entanglement Episode (or How We Do Polyamory) by That Black Couple on #SoundCloud https://soundcloud.app.goo.gl/wRxi
Also I'm ghey af.
