whenever exclusionist discourse flares up theres a wave of ppl, usually queer organizers, who use that as an opportunity to promote irl queer spaces as safer and more welcoming. and while that can be true for a lot of ppl, it isnt true for everyone

there are groups that still have unsure footing in a lot of irl spaces, like ppl who use microlabels, xenogenders, neopronouns etc. i wouldnt blame any of them feeling uncomfortable having to present themselves for ppl to possibly mock, either to their face or behind their back

then theres accessibility. and this one bugs me. no matter how accessible u make an irl space, its never going to be 100% accessible to every queer person. there are ppl who, by virtue of the format of irl spaces, will be silenced and have their needs ignored. no matter what.

i understand, when ur a queer organizer and these discourses happen abt exclusion, its easy to say "oh just find your local queers instead! theyll accept u" but that position is inherently privileged

for example, due to being neurodivergent, i am uncomfortable speaking out loud abt serious topics. i find it impossible to organize my thoughts the same way i do when i write them, so therefore in irl queer spaces my voice is silenced by default

not to mention there are ppl for whom even getting to an irl queer space is impossible. some ppl are housebound, some ppl are agoraphobic, some ppl just feel uncomfortable around others, some ppl may be overstimulated and overwhelmed by being around too many new ppl

there are nonspeaking ppl too! i personally think that any irl queer space worth its bacon needs to have some form of online component. wether thats a groupchat or live streams or a discord server or whatever. these voices cannot be forgotten. we are vital to this community.

and just, keep in mind that if ur in a group of queers irl, u are not representative of all of us. there are voices that are going unheard, wether u know it or not. our words arent worth less because we cannot speak them