I don’t know if therapy works for abusers and gaslighters. I think it just helps them learn how to do it better and escape accountability by providing them with therapy lingo they can use to shame the people they’re hurting.

“Boundaries” is a big one. Therapists seem to rarely tell their clients when claims of setting boundaries are bullshit bc they’re doing it in a harmful way, or they don’t actually care about boundaries at all

I feel like for it to work, they’d have to go into therapy fully aware that they’re doing these behaviors.

But I feel like what doesn’t work is when the person whose being harmed begs them to go to therapy, bc they’re not entering into it with a desire to change, just a desire to shut the other person up

And then they get in there and twist the narrative to suit them, and in the process learn some really nice, fancy language to justify what they’re doing.

One of the people who abused me years ago is now a “mental health advocate” who uses their platform to basically claim that their victims speaking out is abuse itself.

And it’s 100% working for them, bc their language is perfect.