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well i think it's time for a thread of absolutely ridiculous old country houses currently for sale in the UK
come for the grand room where Civil War was declared in the 17th century, stay for the library that would rival the Beast's https://www.rightmove.co.uk/properties/100667147#/
this one is lots of fun because, where so many superfluous country houses were turned into schools after the second WW, this is a rare example of one being converted *back* into a house! https://www.rightmove.co.uk/properties/98754434#/
okay some renovation choices were *made* here and like, i don't hate it, but it's a waste of that room to make it into a gym. stick the gym in the garage like the rest of us https://www.rightmove.co.uk/properties/99528797#/
this house proudly proclaims that they are mentioned by Pevsner, but they decline to mention what Pevsner actually *said* about it, which is... interesting https://www.rightmove.co.uk/properties/97780106#/
okay first, who mowed the lawn like that; second, who is responsible for that pool house; third, wait sorry they have a whole ass sauna i'm sold https://www.rightmove.co.uk/properties/100136888#/
this is a *stunning* example of the 'gentleman architect' school of country houses and also who in the name of hades decided to mosaic orcas on the floor of the pool https://www.rightmove.co.uk/properties/75687325#/
i have a significant number of questions and they are all about either the motorcycle, the aga, or the mirrored kitchen cabinets https://www.rightmove.co.uk/properties/98836865#/
i have nothing snarky to say about this one. this is a stunning example of a quite sympathetically modernised Edwardian manor and I love it a lot and i sincerely wish i was as wealthy as a certain tabloid made us out to be https://www.rightmove.co.uk/properties/87474922#/
that said if I had a cool £3 mill laying around I would absolutely get this house instead ENTIRELY for the fireplace, and i would ask them to leave that bed, too, because *look* at it https://www.rightmove.co.uk/properties/64540446#/
trust me, keep going until you get to the bathrooms. just trust me. https://www.rightmove.co.uk/properties/86127418#/
okay what do we all think "energy rating exempt" means https://www.rightmove.co.uk/properties/81994009#/
one of the cambridge colleges is either buying or selling this. i have no evidence i just feel it in my soul. https://www.rightmove.co.uk/properties/77041036#/
they probably could have fit a bit more Tasteful Erotic Art in that bathroom if they'd tried but points for effort https://www.rightmove.co.uk/properties/101317589#/
this renovation is a crime against humanity https://www.rightmove.co.uk/properties/72011565#/
sorry i genuinely need to take a brief moment after that last one, brb
okay. i actually like this one for the sole fact that it is actually lived in? like for all the silly opulence there are toiletries in the bathroom. Also, check out the dog bed in the master bedroom. Anyone who spoils their dog like that isn't all bad. https://www.rightmove.co.uk/properties/84860107#/
money can buy you a Victorian manor and a taxidermied swan but it clearly can't buy taste https://www.rightmove.co.uk/properties/75770739#/
these staircases are chaos and i kinda love it https://www.rightmove.co.uk/properties/96031061#/
the fake bookcase wallpaper in the office ruined me https://www.rightmove.co.uk/properties/62370714#/
the bathtub is just... in... the bedroom? https://www.rightmove.co.uk/properties/85881904#/
i almost didn't include this one but just... why would you paint it purple https://www.rightmove.co.uk/properties/81772327#/
there's a room off the dressing room labelled "shoe and bag room" and it's bigger than our kitchen https://www.rightmove.co.uk/properties/71032853#/
this house is named The Jungle and like.... yes https://www.rightmove.co.uk/properties/83518253#/
oop we've got another bathtub situation but ALSO how many times do you think somebody has absolutely decked themselves on that beam in the living room https://www.rightmove.co.uk/properties/76224234#/
PALATE CLEANSER https://www.rightmove.co.uk/properties/75772671#/
okay lemme get another cuppa and then i will start on the celtic nations
this house sponsored by Tr*mp's recent executive order on federal architecture https://www.rightmove.co.uk/properties/87574432#/
this is absolutely gonna get me cancelled but imagine having an office like that and then plopping an LFC pillow on the sofa https://www.rightmove.co.uk/properties/85161844#/
time for a round of my favourite game: spot the secret passageway! https://www.rightmove.co.uk/properties/55073850#/
it's the tiny things that kill me sometimes. what was on that coffee table and why did they feel the need to remove it for the photo and why did they not dust the table to make it less obvious https://www.rightmove.co.uk/properties/86535565#/
floor length curtains on mid windows are fine. mid length curtains on mid windows are fine. Both in the same room are... not fine. although perhaps it's a safety mechanism for the inevitable golf balls coming through. https://www.rightmove.co.uk/properties/93609482#/
look if you're gonna shoot 30-50 feral hogs, you might as well taxidermy them and hang them in the entrance hall amirite https://www.rightmove.co.uk/properties/77623243#/
the master bedroom not only has His-and-Hers ensuites, it also has His-and-Hers beds, for that real old-world feel https://www.rightmove.co.uk/properties/86959702#/
Right, I shall end this thread with a palate cleanser of some absolutely stunning cornicing, which the estate agent clearly realised is the primary selling point. see you next time! https://www.rightmove.co.uk/properties/98630936#/
if anyone would like to enable me to continue posting info about ridiculous houses, and you have spare cash, i shall awkwardly invite you to help me acquire Pevsners. https://www.amazon.co.uk/hz/wishlist/ls/19W7ICR3YT4KD?ref_=wl_share
