Today in pulp... my predictions for 2021! These are all based on the pulp of 1921 because that's probably as accurate as any other method of prognostication.

It's going to be quite the year...

2021 will be the Year of M'eh. As lockdowns continue the days and weeks will merge into one. Routine is out, haze and indecision are in. That's good news for all Gen Xers, as we've been practicing for this for years!

2021 will also (alas) be the year that all those Lockdown Novels are finally published! Page after page of middle aged angst and carefully nuanced nothingness that will make Jonathan Franzen feel like Joseph Conrad in comparison.

Literary agents will have a field day...

Localism will be in for 2021. Homegrown entertainment, products and services will be at the forefront of our consumption as global trade stays in the doldrums. Never mind the quality - feel the nearness!

And we'll be in no mood for brand storytelling or experiential marketing next year - none of us will be 'on a journey' or 'following our passions'. Straightforward hard selling will become the norm in advertising.

Homeworking will have ruined our posture by 2021 and we'll struggle to sit up straight or even stand still for five minutes. Louche will be in!

And after another year of Zoom calls we'll begin to forget what our co-workers actually look like in real life.

Our health will also take a hit in 2021. All that cooking from scratch will give way to endless snacking and grazing - cake for breakfast, Frosties for dinner etc. It will be the year of the Big Bloat.

More seriously our mental health will also begin to suffer. 2021 will alas be full of quack cures for serious conditions. Self-care is something we will need to prioritise.

Fashion next year will veer between the practical and the sporty...

...and the big hair trend of 2021 will be the return of the Bob! Lockdown locks will be short and sassy, with maybe the hint of a wave.

The War on Screentime will continue in 2021, with children increasingly forced to get off their iPads and read a book. This will of course give children lots of ideas, which parents will then need to deal with. You have been warned!

2021 will also be the Year of the Cocktail, as locked down adults try to outdo each other in beverage ostentatiousness now that they can't go to the pub any more. Instagram will be full of pictures of bulging drinks cabinets boasting every liquor known to man.

And with foreign holidays reduced due to COVID former tourist hotspots will once again become vibrant homes for local people. From Venice to Granada the traditional customs and pleasures of everyday life will re-emerge for their citizens.