If you are a person sad that you can no longer talk about hating your body online without getting pushback from people, I am asking you to consider why this complaint sounds so much like people complaining about PC culture and how folks can’t have OPINIONS anymore.

Body changes are always a lot to process, especially for folks who are fortunate enough to have always been a socially acceptable size. But I challenge you to unpack why we are so used to performing our body feelings in public spaces.

We are accustomed to being praised for body loathing, for expressing the desire to master our unruly, nonconforming bodies. We are socially rewarded for this performance because it means we are compliant to social pressures.

It also perpetuates the idea that bodies are public property, open to and subject to commentary from other people.

This is such a damaging concept but it is one way that bodies are policed.

And this has been incredibly harmful to people across the board.

I mean this in a genuinely kind and loving way: if you are tempted to turn to Twitter to process your feelings of body hate and are upset at the idea someone might push against that, talk to a therapist or at least a close friend instead. Do yourself the favor of privacy.

It is GOOD that self-loathing cannot often stand unopposed on social media. That there are more voices willing to speak up and push back against compulsory diet culture and self-hatred is legitimately amazing.

I don’t want you to feel ashamed of hating your body. But I do want you to ask why this is so normal, why it is so jarring and disruptive to hear from people who believe otherwise.

In the meantime, I hope we can all be kind to ourselves as we brace for the new year and the influx of negative body messages. I love you.