honestly, if I can be really real with you all for a second? my main takeaway from the complaining about my misogyny stuff is that they all imply I am a uniquely intelligent misogynist. There's a whole discussion going on in that ellie's comments about how being intelligent

doesn't preclude you from being misogynist, and what to do about it, how to deal with, presumably, outsmarting people who are smarter than you, so you can fix them or put them into camps or whatever

anyway my point is this is the kind of negative narcissistic affirmation that TLP warns against, and I SHOULD feel ashamed about feeling validated by their inane babbling - because shame is not some kind of unfair ex hilo ghost, shame is the emotional immune system

and by being ashamed and engaging with the shame, I can address what I intuitively know is a problem. It doesn't make me happy to make anyone unhappy, but the implication they make, that I am a uniquely intelligent sexist, does. and this is something very, very shameful

It validates me, but at the same time it also makes me feel depressed, and very lonely - "don't they see, can't they even see, that I'm stupid?". this is also indulgent behaviour

the price for having your identity affirmed is that you simultaneously must also affirm the distance between souls