Read on Twitter
Several of you on here recently tweeted you were depressed or wondering because of lack of interaction on Twitter if you would be missed if you ever left the platform. I wanted to take a few minutes this morning as 2020 winds down to address those kind of things.
You matter and anyone else feeling marginalized by the pandemonium of this year. "2020" is a date and things will not miraculously clear up when the ball drops and a calendar says it's 2021. We are in a dark place, and there is and will be light. It's there.
What truly matters is we believe in ourselves and we don't teach our children this. We don't allow ourselves to pat ourselves for the small milestones we hit in our lives. We are fueled by competition with others, fanned by envy and shook inside by belief in our own insecurities.
Every single day of my life is racked with regret and sometimes even "The Imposter Syndrome." A day on Twitter can be praise or someone telling me I made the shittiest #horror film in @deathhouse .
I'll create something new and different with #TheSpecial only to read negative reviews because it isn't like this or that. I try to vary my timeline with news, comments, interactions than just plugging my films or podcast and still get shit or...nothing for it.
Over 20,000 followers, I meet every single piece of criteria to receive the blue check @twitter @verified mark and...nothing...while some Youtuber with 1500 followers and not track record gets it. Am I validated by a check mark? Is that the sum of all I wor4k for?
Do I matter to Hollywood? I did a #podcast on the fight to get to the "Cool Kids Lunch Table" I will tag @jason_blum right here and tell him: I will work my fucking ass for you. Give me your worst project right now and I w2ilol make it something good. But he won't read it.
I make solid, high quality films. You don't have to like them. I work with good people. We make our stuff on time and on budget. Quality scripts, FX, production value and yet I feel no one really cares or notices. @jason_blum would be lucky to have me and yet...no word.
I have been kind to fans only to have that misconstrued as something more than simple kindness. Which makes you want to retreat or leave the platform entirely. Which is disheartening. I came to Twitter to expand my brand. Nothing more.
Would I be missed if I left? Maybe. Maybe not. However for those of you wondering if it gets better with depression, yes...it does. You get the proper help. Few on here, including myself, are qualified to professionally help someone truly struggling.
I look at the DVD giveaways, the contests, making a weekly podcast, interacting and sometimes, many times, wonder, what is this all for? Eight feature films (The 8th is about to drop soon) and @jason_blum doesn't know my name.
And that's just the way it is. We go forward. Always forward. You pick yourself up, take the slings and arrows and move ahead because that's also how you make a movie. You go forward and you do it no matter how many say you can't.
You matter. All of you matter. On here. Off of here. This social platform does not make you someone. Your actions do. The impact you have had on someone's life or lives. The goal, I believe, is to try to leave things a little better than how you found them.
All my life I was told I would never get into a film career. I would fail. In fact, a family member once told me that I was "too fucking stupid to know when to get off this movie merry-go-round." So with that, even the worst film reviews don't hurt that much.
Lots of regrets, and even more wasted time...that's how I see my life a lot of the time. And just when you think you want to leave the platform, a guy like @CrazyRalph1980 wonders if someone is shittin' him or another person offers insight or even helps me find some movie pins.
And then...for a little bit...all is right with the world. You engage with people like @LenPetersonJr and fall into a joke-Jaws world that provided many laughs and even made CNN's attention. And you get to talk serious film or Godzilla with others.
And...sometimes I even meet people in person off of here and that alone is a pleasure and honor. The bottom line is, you're not alone. Take the failures. Take the stumbles. Pick yourself up. Dust yourself off. Do it again.
We all need, as a human race, need to know we matter. We are not defined by idiot politicians or tone deaf celebrities and their points of view. We are better than this. All of us. Well done is always better than well said. I hope this helped and to all of you...thank you.
