Thread by @SaraFregonese, There is a word for the days between Xmas &New Year: Merrineum. [...]

There is a word for the days between Xmas &New Year: Merrineum. Also known as twilight zone or the time when you don't know what day it is. Sounds blurry? Try having your birthday in it.

Having a birthday in Merrineum: a thread

My fellow Merrineum-birthday peers will know that being a Merrineum child is awesome. In Italy where I grew up, it’s a continuum of festivities, food, and presents through Xmas Eve, Xmas Day, Boxing Day, 3 birthdays (!), through to NY’s eve and NY day, and Epiphany on 5th/6th

The problems for the Merrineum birthday start with people. People born in uneventful monhts, make you feel like your birthday is more a nuisance than an event. But let's be clear, non-merrineum people: YOU are the problem. So let’s deconstruct what happens in a merrineum birthday

1.'spoiling'.Merrineum kids have their bday when most socioeconomically comfortable people in Xmas-celebrating contexts get several presents anyway. So ur relatives think that giving you MORE presents for ur bday will spoil you.Well,apologies for being born on a set day, people!

2.Forgetting the birthday. Most of my peers’ birthdays functioned and continue to function like this. Oral or written invitation to the birthday --> written or oral RSVP -->little birthday party with presents. Mine has always worked and continues to work like this instead:

Oral or written invitation to the birthday --> Absence or paucity of RSVP --> reminder --> trickle of RSVPs that do not translate in actual numbers at the party --> handful of presents, some looking suspiciously recycled from recent Christmas crop.

3. Weird parties. Don’t get my wrong. My childhood birthday parties organised by mum and dad were awesome. The relatives all came to the house and I had a great time being given lots of attention, here’s me, my mum, a ginormous cake and mum’s cigarettes on the table in 1982.

But later on, when school started, it all got weird. Guests can be divided into 3 categories. A) those who forgot B) those,of slightly upper extraction,who were skiing C) those who didn’t have anything better to get through the confusion of merrineum than coming to my bday.

4. Merged presents. I’m going to go on about this one for a bit. F***’s sake. My peers have a dedicated, purpose-build birthday of some kind in non-eventful periods of the year. They get some form of bespoke celebration, bespoke cake, and bespoke presents. Cool eh?

For merrineum kids, presents instead are the result of a state of alert and work of inculcation into the heads of close ones and friends that just because your birthday is ‘near Christmas’, this doesn’t make it ok to only get me one present (unless it's cash).

People merge your presents:
-Here is your Xmas present
-Oh it’s nice, thank u!
-BTW it’s also for ur bday, in 4 days.

-Happy bday, here’s a present
-Oh it’s nice, thank u!
-Oh, BTW, it's also for Xmas. U know the Xmas just gone,I didn’t give u presents,coz ur bday was coming

Imagine, July people, if I combined YOUR bday and xmas presents. How would u feel if I gave u a pair of warm gloves and a scarf “because btw it’s also for xmas”? Or If I gave you a swimming suit and shades at Xmas, because btw it also counts for your birthday?

Merging doesn’t need to be deliberate. It can be a direct result of merrineum itself, the confusion of this period adding to the confusion that is your merrineum birthday in itself. Today, my OH gave me a bunch of presents from my mother-in-law that were supposed to be for Xmas.

Finally, cake. Normal birthdays function like this: oral or written party invitation --> RSVP -->party --> stuff your face with cake. Merrineum birthdays instead consist of a moral diatribe about why we should have more cake when we have been having cake the whole festive season

So today, I politely asked if there was a possibility that some cake was purchased. Answer:“do you think we need MORE cake around here?” Well ok, March people: next time, I will turn up empty-handed & say “Do you think u need MORE cake,after all the cake u ate on Xmas Day 1996?!”

But all in all, I still love my merrineum birthday. I have severely instructed the family from the very start that I don’t appreciate merged presents, they are abiding wery well, and despite some minor slippage with cake provision, it is overall an acceptable experience.

Happy birthday to all the Merrineum children out there. Keep it up. Demand cake, and never give in to merged presents*

*unless it’s cash

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