"The reign of God will not come about through unmitigated success and uninterrupted growth. An unexpected but necessary part of the plan is the setbacks and failures that give Jesus’ disciples a share in the mystery of his own suffering." (Mary Healy)
Every setback, every failure, every disappointment, every frustration, every sorrow: every one an invitation to share in Christ's own suffering.
This, to me, is one of the hardest things about trusting Jesus with your whole life. The revelation that you can only fail your way into his kingdom. You can only lose your way in. Death rather than more aggressive living is the way.
One of the hardest truths but also one of the most comforting and reassuring.