I want to talk about how a person can be suffering from OCD but not recognise it as OCD because it doesn’t fit the stereotype of OCD. Even after I was diagnosed, it’s taken me until now to recognise that my OCD was present from a young age, just in a different form. /1

The major obsession that took up my childhood was nits/head lice. I know, gross. But from the age of about 8 when we received a letter home saying there was an outbreak in the school until the age of about 13/14, I went through phases where this would consume me. /2

I thought about it constantly. I was constantly aware of my body and my head touching others. I made sure when I hung my coat up it didn’t touch anyone else’s things. If someone as much as touched their head, I ensured I stayed as far away from them as possible. /3

The amount of times I convinced myself I had nits/head lice was hundreds. The amount of times I made my mum treat me for head lice when it was clear that I didn’t have head lice was dozens. She must have spent a fortune on those treatments. /4

The complete RELIEF I felt afterwards was indescribable. And there lies the compulsive cycle. But it never lasted long. I’d come home from school the next day and no matter how sure I was I hadn’t touched anyone, I’d convince myself I must have and I was infected again. /5

It got to the point where I couldn’t keep telling my mum I thought I had lice. So I would try to treat myself using conditioner and the comb. If she went out, I’d spend an hour or two doing this. Sometimes I’d do it everyday. I felt some relief after, but it was never enough. /6

Here were the hidden compulsions and obsessions that it has taken me this long to recognise as OCD. This worry I had lice or would catch them consumed me. The compulsions of treating it would provide some relief but I’d convince myself my mum or I hadn’t done it properly. /7

I’d try my best to avoid anyone who even touched their head. I was constantly aware of my head not touching anyone else. I was constantly worrying about all this. /8

Obsessions like this aren’t uncommon. But they aren’t talked about because people think it’s gross. Or because of the stigma. Or perhaps because it’s not recognised as OCD. Obsessions like this can be completely debilitating. We need to make it okay to talk about this. /9