Another shitty Christian movie, this time called The Encounter (2011). May do a running commentary, maybe not, depending on if there’s anything interesting to say.

Got brief glimpses at two cars that passed a hitchhiker by before the third picked her up. Hello, Good Samaritan metaphor.

The super creepy police officer is telling the people who failed to pick up the hitchhiker that the road is blocked and they have to turn back. Zero idea where this is going.

Op. There was a diner back on the road.... but only the hitchhiker and the one who picked her up saw it. Lightning and thunder. Dun dun dun. They’re all going back to see if they can use a phone there.

There’s an extremely stereotypical white Everyman running the diner with the name tag “Jesus” who says the cop has been trying to prevent people from seeing him for years and he only serves mysteriously delicious water.

W H A T

So far everything in the diner is in that vein. So obvious. Ludicrous. Like a bad overproduced church skit magically got green lit. I’m so happy.

According to @sparkle_heretic this should be making me mad but omg it just seriously reminds me so much of crappy church productions I saw that I can’t help but think some nobody church skit writer got a call about one of his scripts and lost his damn mind

*sulk* “Thanks a lot, Jesus. My wife left me.”

“Oh, she was going to leave you anyway.”

“Yeah, but...”

“Don’t worry.” *smile* “She’ll be back.”

Someone wrote those lines.

Jesus: “I’m not trying to destroy your marriage, Hank. I can save your marriage.”

Me: i CaN sAVe YoUr MaRrIaGe, HaNk

I haven’t said much because the movie has literally descended into Jesus straight-up preaching at everyone because he knows what’s in all of their hearts and don’t we all know what that looks like?

Hank’s wife walked away in frustration and he called after her and Jesus confidently said “she’s just going to the ladies’ room, Hank,” followed by a shot of her walking past the restroom sign, and I burst out laughing

Op now we’re supposed to be thankful when stupid things happen and we get hurt because clearly something worse could have happened and god actually saved us

And theeeeere’s the deflective genocide apologetics

Of COURSE the one who picked up the hitchhiker is a Christian

Ooof the mental health messages around her conversion story are frightfully terrible

And there’s an “unequally-yoked” message about her boyfriend that simultaneously implies that non-Christians are only annoyed with evangelicals because they hate faith...

...and that she would still somehow be responsible for her boyfriend coming to hate Christianity. Gotta pack all the hate in that we can I guess.

I know that every outlook has to kind of simplify and stereotype its “others” to maintain day to day simplicity but evangelicals are particularly unscrupulous about it

Finally got to the teenager’s story. Ok @sparkle_heretic. You win.

O H F U C K T H I S

HOW. DOES. IT. KEEP. GETTING. WORSE.

There’s no way in hell I’m saying what happens knowing the sexual and religious trauma many of my followers have. Just trust that it’s bad.

Oh my God, wait. It only just occurred to me to figure out what the whole beginning was about. The three cars got in a traffic accident and that’s why the road is closed. That’s how the cop is “preventing people from seeing Jesus.“ i’m 99% sure I’m right about this.