Okay I am at a keyboard for the first time in a while finally. Since MILAB discussions seem to be trendy right now and since that’s uh relevant to my interests I guess I’m gonna do a thread of my hot takes. Gonna lead with some caveats

1/

So the thing here is I’m close to both of these subjects, but I do my best to avoid deciding like “okay this is what is going on here” and then looking for evidence to support that, because that’s how you get even more confused about your own life 2/

So I normally don’t make assertions like “this is what happened.” For the purposes of this thread I’m gonna do that because it supports the hot takes I’m gonna drop, but these aren’t like, facts? I mean they could be, but I can’t point to a thing, okay? 3/

I’m pretty confident about the .gov or whatever angle, the human angle, because of the nature of the work and, well, like, they were people. I was a kid at the beginning, and they were people I didn’t like, but they were people.

But there were also some maybe aliens, and I’m not sure about those because, well, they were aliens. I was sure about them at the time, but I’m not so sure about them now. But let’s, for the sake of making this legible, assume they were aliens. 5/

Let’s talk timeline here. I haven’t really done that on this account. I think I started on the one that got locked but let’s do it here. 6/

I grew up a weird psychic kid. Talkin’ to spirits, answering questions before people asked them, the normal weird psychic kid stuff. Around age 8 or 9 I was abducted for the first time, which happened occasionally until I was about 11? 7/

To the best of my ability to recall, they were Grey aliens. I sketched pictures at the time and took some notes the way a kid might, but all of those are long since gone. I don’t recall disappearing them, but welp. 8/

The content of the abductions were largely not unfriendly, they were chill. We hung out telepathically and I piloted a craft at some point. It was neat. I was not in control and knew it, but I don’t recall being harmed. They were mostly concerned about *us*. 9/

There was some content that was typical “y’all need to stop blowing yourselves up” stuff but like, man, I didn’t do it, so they kinda laid off that. However, around 10 or 11 I began to become more aware of something else going on. 10/

I say it like that because I can’t really put a thumb on when it started. Based on what I understand it must’ve started earlier than that, because trauma-based mind control dissociation shit is most effective if started early. 11/

Let’s take a little tangent here about mind control shit: we’re talking Estabrooks here, not psychic stuff. MKULTRA type shit. But I am very Not Into the dominant narratives about that kind of stuff, the shit that’s around the conspiracy web about Monarch and whatever 12/

I don’t like the weird “there’s a secret Mars Army” stuff that comes up, I find it kinda implausible! It’s too weird. That might seem awful but it‘s just... you know, there are practicalities and things with funding and payments and so on and it doesn’t track. 13/

I’ll come back to this in a second because it’s kinda relevant? But anyhow the thing that started to creep into my consciousness is that I was falling asleep at night and waking up many mornings with things profoundly not right. 14/

It wasn’t from my “foreign friends” as I called them at the time, it was markedly different. And eventually I became aware that I was participating in some kind of psychic spook bullshit. This is... incredibly difficult for me to talk about in a public way 15/

So I’m gonna gloss a lot of details. But I did psychic shit under the direction of some people that at the time I thought were military or government guys 16/

I don’t really buy that so much now. I mean I think they were under the direction of military or gov guys but I think at this point they were probably contractors doing USAP stuff. That’s a term I never had before that fits perfectly for what I think was going on. 17/

Brass tacks, what I think was going on: USAPs related to psychic performance, likely related to espionage but also involving remote influence and other occult/parapsychological bullshit of interest to powerful actors. 18/

I don’t have a lot of like, facts here. We know there was and is interest in this domain because of things like ESP sub projects in MKULTRA, STARGATE, and other things related to STARGATE that were released with that collection 19/

So one of the big questions about MILABS is always, “why” and “how” and so to answer that the “why” I hypothesize is that funding that psychic shit is hard to justify without revealing enough that would make it easier to counter, and the methods are unethical 20/

MKULTRA hearings were hugely embarrassing for intelligence and by using the USAP framework, the same kind of USAP that buries UAP shit, i.e. lots of cutouts and contracts and compartmentalization, you can bury this shit in deep black projects and not worry about appearances 21/

The second part of why doing it this way is that you can’t maintain compartmentalization with psychics. NSA brought this up in “Cryptologic Aspects of ESP” in the STARGATE collection - psychics can’t be held to need to know. 22/

In that document they propose using psi-believing communities, and ideally charismatic Christian groups, because they didn’t want to fuck around with “the occult” because it causes problems. I think over time they got a bit more flexible with that. 23/

So while STARGATE was going on above board, I think below board they were working on the deep black shit that created me and others like me. Why the abduction aspect though? And what does this have to do with MILABS the way the UFO community uses the term? 24/

The abduction aspect is probably not abduction in the sense of snatching people up. I suspect I was just trained to enter a hypnotic state and walk down the street at night to a place where whatever we did went on. But the reason for doing shit like that is basically 25/

Hiring people would probably be cheaper and easier, but keeping your psychic assets off the books and unwitting means they can’t leak shit. It also lets them do research shit IABs wouldn’t approve. I don’t think it’s *common*, but it’s fairly cheap and wholly deniable.

Hiring people also means reading them in, and potentially compromising compartments by having psychics who know what’s going on. I don’t know, I didn’t do it, this is just my conjecture. 27/