1.) For people bringing up my "fat phobic" jokes on my Netflix special. Ok. In 2008-2010 I went through a depression & ate my feelings into a 75 pound weight gain. No one could stop me. Most people said nothing. I had pre-diabetic blood levels, esophagus issues & my leg went numb

2.) for a month from nerve something or other. What was tragic about my weight gain was that I was in therapy, had a great job, was married, but I felt alone & couldn't regulate my emotions and I used food as a drug and hurt my body. It was NOT a case of I just naturally gained

3.) weight and should have been in acceptance of it and setting a good example of self love. I was HURTING myself. If it were drugs, I'd be in rehab. And I lost the weight NOT by dieting (which is what I joke about in my special) but by DIVORCING. And I learned to regulate

4.) my emotions and not use food to soothe. The weight came off within a year. The health issues cleared up. I'm NOT saying everyone who is overweight/obese/fat whatever word you want to use, is depressed. I WAS. ME. ME. ME. And my act is about ME. And usually anxiety too.

5.) I GET that "fat phobia" DOES mean that someone who talks about dieting or not wanting to be "fat" and only referring to themselves is still contributing to a shitty culture. But don't forget - a phobia of fat is also known as Anorexia or Body Dysmorphia.

6.) And growing up when I was underweight (medically) I was teased, didn't have boobs until I was 15, boys didn't like me because I was flat, then when I went through puberty I didn't get into a dance college due to my (NORMAL) weight. I'm SURE I have some body dysmorphia

7.) And I wish I had discussed weight gain, weight loss, depression, and body dysmorphia a little better in my special taped in 2013. I'm 46 years old & used to take ballet. I'm not stupid. I GET body issues. But I'm ALLOWED to talk about it from my end. And I'm sorry if people

8.) feel that it isn't appropriate to talk about from the angle of "I wish I hadn't gained weight during 2020." But I wish I hadn't. I don't feel right not wearing my normal clothes. I feel lethargic. I feel SCARED that I'm dipping into not being able to regulate feelings & am

9.) working on it in therapy. I'm not even TRYING to lose the weight I gained. I know it will come off when I balance out more. But this is my reality and I made a joke about wanting a weight loss vaccine because I do NOT want to do any work to lose the weight because I'm BURNT.

10.) I'm also approaching 47 which isn't old but I see my body and skin changing in other ways too and I'm ALLOWED to feel feels about it. I'm sorry if other female comedians want to come at me for this on Twitter but maybe give me the benefit of the doubt that I'm not AWFUL. xo

11.) For everyone writing "You don't have to defend yourself" or "Fuck the haters.' Hey. Relax. I enjoyed writing this thread. Feels good to talk about stuff and show who I am and what I've gone through. xo

12.) It would be so cool to get to go back in time and redo bits with a tad more self-awareness, honesty and insight but I couldn't be who I was when I wasn't her. And I'm not ashamed of my work. And so this thread is "who I am now" and I'm sure that will change again too! xo

13.) With a night to sleep on it - and someone actually telling me that THIS thread offended them - my new mantra is “Get Off My Dick in 2021.”