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Hello today we are doing Things You Might Not Think About When Dealing With Hard Of Hearing Or Deaf People: Ableism, Coping Mechanisms, Microaggresions, And Things That Probably Haven't Crossed Your Mind
I want to note that this is personal experience! Not all hard of hearing people will have the same experience, and certainly not all disabled people.
1. If I never have someone discover I'm HOH and then mouth words to me because they think it's funny it will be too soon. Don't do this. It's annoying. I have some hearing so I know you're not speaking, & even if I didn't, it's still really freaking obvious. Plus, it's rude.
2. People thinking I'm stupid is also really frustrating. Even if they know me before they know I'm HOH! For some reason a lot of people just assume I have an intellectual disability as well, which does happen sometimes but the assumption still feels shitty. Presume competence!
2b. I used to have to do standardized testing with the special education kids and while I'm delighted they got the accommodations they needed, I was bored out of my MIND and it took years and years of my parents fighting to just... Let me be in the regular classroom for testing.
3. I'm still angry that I wasn't permitted to learn ASL. I still don't know it (please don't tell me how I can learn it) and I'm so deeply furious about how common it is for specialists to dissuade parents from having their kids learn ASL because they want to force audism.
3 (cont.) There's nothing wrong with having hard of hearing kids learn to speak. I'm very happy I know! But it's language deprivation in a lot of cases and I absolutely will not budge from that position. Ableism is caring for YOUR convenience instead of the dignity of the person.
4. I can't STAND concerts. Or really any very loud environment! I get headaches very easily and really loud sounds can actually trigger vertigo
5. Yes I do need the captions on. No I really can't express to you how much I don't care that you don't want it, I need it. This issue has definitely lead to me not really participating in stuff because it's so frustrating.
5b. Relatedly, I'm almost definitely not watching that YouTube video you sent me because the likelihood I'm going to understand things is...low. YouTube captions are notoriously bad!
6. I rarely know the words to any particular piece of music I listen to. I like beats over lyrics because that's what my brain can process.
7. Before 2018 and my new hearing aids with Bluetooth you pretty much exclusively had to be my grandparents for me to get on the phone with you! I hated it. Turns out tho that I just couldn't hear and actually I love talking on the phone, especially on a video chat
8. When I was very young the head of special education for the school tried to deny me (extremely minimal!) accommodations, arguing that if I got any at all I'd only be fit for Deaf colleges. I was in kindergarten.
9. I didn't get diagnosed with hearing loss until way after I should have because the doctors thought my mother was hysterical and just young (she was 28 when i was born) and a first time mom. I got diagnosed because other issues showed up and they did a CT scan.
10. Hearing aids aren't covered by insurance. My family could afford good ones, but it was still a pain in the ass and we are privileged. Imagine if someone didn't have that.
11. Kids are usually pretty chill about hearing aids but they WILL ask me all about them. Which is fine but I'm begging you to expose your kids to the concept of disabled people so that I'm not fending off 100 questions. Also maybe familiarize yourself too. Adults are wildcards.
12. Sometimes if I can't hear someone because they're facing away from me I will physically turn their face to me. Usually this is if it's a persistent issue. People usually get better as they know me longer but please y'all. I can't hear. You gotta direct the sound towards me.
13. The lack of representation kills me sometimes. I want to be able to read a fantasy story where someone is wearing hearing aids or a fantasy equivalent! I want to see myself reflected in the wider world instead of hidden away like something shameful and broken.
I think that's it for now, but I might end up adding more at some point. @verlainestan I know this is something you've been interested in!
