Something I find both overwhelming and exciting about being queer and kinky is the freedom to build the kind of relationships I want from scratch, rather than defaulting to the arbitrary roles/traditions/expectations cis-het society imposes.

It’s overwhelming and scary sometimes because there’s a lot less of a roadmap to follow, but it’s so exciting to have the opportunity to make up your own rules and build a relationship that is totally and uniquely yours.

What is sex? What is commitment? How do we show up and make space for each other? What do I want/need? What does open communication look like? What words do we use for each other? It is such a challenge and such a gift to be able to answer these questions for yourself.