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1-SILLY QURAN
A megathread compilation of exclusive Quranic silliness! Let us start with Water existing prior to the creation of the Universe with God's throne floating above it! A magical test!
A megathread compilation of exclusive Quranic silliness! Let us start with Water existing prior to the creation of the Universe with God's throne floating above it! A magical test!
2-SILLY QURAN
Shooting stars are missiles thrown by angels at genies for eavesdropping on heavenly conversations! You can not make this one up! it is absolute bonkers
Shooting stars are missiles thrown by angels at genies for eavesdropping on heavenly conversations! You can not make this one up! it is absolute bonkers
3-SILLY QURAN
Evolution Sucks! Allah made Adam from sticky dark clay and molded him into a figurine before blowing the "soul" into it! BONUS: later he took a rib out and made the woman out of it.
Evolution Sucks! Allah made Adam from sticky dark clay and molded him into a figurine before blowing the "soul" into it! BONUS: later he took a rib out and made the woman out of it.
4-SILLY QURAN
Humanity started when two nudists got tricked into eating an apple from a tree in Paradise by Satan! They ate the fruit and suddenly realized they are naked so they covered themselves with leaves!
Humanity started when two nudists got tricked into eating an apple from a tree in Paradise by Satan! They ate the fruit and suddenly realized they are naked so they covered themselves with leaves!
5-SILLY QURAN
The Quran claims the existence of a human being living to the age of 950 years! That is impossible from a biological perspective but since when did religion care about facts?
The Quran claims the existence of a human being living to the age of 950 years! That is impossible from a biological perspective but since when did religion care about facts?
6-SILLY QURAN
Now how can we ever forget the Ark of Noah! You thought 600 years after Jesus, the arabs would be more creative than ripping off old biblical tales! Noah was commanded to put 2 mates of each animal in his Titanic! Then the flood happened!
Now how can we ever forget the Ark of Noah! You thought 600 years after Jesus, the arabs would be more creative than ripping off old biblical tales! Noah was commanded to put 2 mates of each animal in his Titanic! Then the flood happened!
7-SILLY QURAN
Moses had a stick that would turn into a serpent and eat other stick snakes! His hand would also start glowing white!
Moses had a stick that would turn into a serpent and eat other stick snakes! His hand would also start glowing white!
8-SILLY QURAN
Did you know Cow meat has magical powers that may bring back the dead to life? In the time of Moses someone was murdered so they used dead cow steak to solve the murder by resurrecting the victim's dead body! Thats where Surah baqarah gets its name!
Did you know Cow meat has magical powers that may bring back the dead to life? In the time of Moses someone was murdered so they used dead cow steak to solve the murder by resurrecting the victim's dead body! Thats where Surah baqarah gets its name!
9-SILLY QURAN
Allah loves sending down food from heaven, this one mentions the Israelites getting Quails and Manna Salwa. We will get to Jesus, Mary and others eating heavenly feasts later
Allah loves sending down food from heaven, this one mentions the Israelites getting Quails and Manna Salwa. We will get to Jesus, Mary and others eating heavenly feasts later
10-SILLY QURAN
If you get Allah mad he will literally threaten you into submission by uprooting and floating a mountain over your heads!
If you get Allah mad he will literally threaten you into submission by uprooting and floating a mountain over your heads!
11-SILLY QURAN
Moses is thirsty so he hits a rock with his magical stick and 12 springs of water emerge gushing forth! All the people were satisfied and quenched their thirst! Zam Zam for Jews!
Moses is thirsty so he hits a rock with his magical stick and 12 springs of water emerge gushing forth! All the people were satisfied and quenched their thirst! Zam Zam for Jews!
12-SILLY QURAN
Allah got so mad that he literally transformed some jewish tribes into Apes and Pigs for disobedience! Now that is some supernatural biology! We are asked to blindly believe this instead of Evolution?
Allah got so mad that he literally transformed some jewish tribes into Apes and Pigs for disobedience! Now that is some supernatural biology! We are asked to blindly believe this instead of Evolution?
13-SILLY QURAN
Allah transformed into Zeus! He got o angry with those Jews that he struck them with thunderbolts and killed them! Then he realized he was being a prick and revived them to give them a second chance at life! YOLO
Allah transformed into Zeus! He got o angry with those Jews that he struck them with thunderbolts and killed them! Then he realized he was being a prick and revived them to give them a second chance at life! YOLO
14-SILLY QURAN
Allah was so mad at Pharoah that he sent the flood but it did not work so he tried again with locusts but that did not work so he tried Lice but they had good anti lice shampoo so he tried Frogs but they ate mosquitos & ended malaria so gave up and cried blood!
Allah was so mad at Pharoah that he sent the flood but it did not work so he tried again with locusts but that did not work so he tried Lice but they had good anti lice shampoo so he tried Frogs but they ate mosquitos & ended malaria so gave up and cried blood!
15-SILLY QURAN
Moses was being chased by Pharaoh so he struck his magic stick and the sea parted in half for him and his friends to walk through! Pharaoh was drowned though! His stick sounds more like a magic wand!
Moses was being chased by Pharaoh so he struck his magic stick and the sea parted in half for him and his friends to walk through! Pharaoh was drowned though! His stick sounds more like a magic wand!
16-SILLY QURAN
Allah sows himself to Moses and he is so bright the mountain vaporises and Moses falls unconscious! God being a white brightlight is often reported in mental asylums by delusional patients! Well wait till you hear about the talking bush on fire!
Allah sows himself to Moses and he is so bright the mountain vaporises and Moses falls unconscious! God being a white brightlight is often reported in mental asylums by delusional patients! Well wait till you hear about the talking bush on fire!
17-SILLY QURAN
Moses saw a burning bush and wandered off to check it out! When he got close to the Fire, he heard voices talking to him, telling him it is God and that he should remove his sandals! Next time you see a fire DO NOT TALK TO IT
Moses saw a burning bush and wandered off to check it out! When he got close to the Fire, he heard voices talking to him, telling him it is God and that he should remove his sandals! Next time you see a fire DO NOT TALK TO IT
18-SILLY QURAN
Solomon knew how to speak Bird language! He also had an army of birds and genies fighting for him! Genie and bird Soldiers! This is getting RIDICULOUS!
Solomon knew how to speak Bird language! He also had an army of birds and genies fighting for him! Genie and bird Soldiers! This is getting RIDICULOUS!
19-SILLY QURAN
Antz was inspired by the story of solomon! Or was it Bugs life? In anycase the idea that a human understood the speech of an ant is laughable!
Antz was inspired by the story of solomon! Or was it Bugs life? In anycase the idea that a human understood the speech of an ant is laughable!
20-SILLY QURAN
Spy birds? Talking birds? What is even going on at this point? Was Allah sober when he wrote this? Solomon is like the Peter pan of Prophets!
Spy birds? Talking birds? What is even going on at this point? Was Allah sober when he wrote this? Solomon is like the Peter pan of Prophets!
21-SILLY QURAN
So Solomon was also the last Airbender! He could command the wind to blow and had Genies working for him!
So Solomon was also the last Airbender! He could command the wind to blow and had Genies working for him!
22-SILLY QURAN
The time Solomon had a Genie teleport the throne of the Queen of Sheba because the hoopoe bird informed him of it!
The time Solomon had a Genie teleport the throne of the Queen of Sheba because the hoopoe bird informed him of it!
23-SILLY QURAN
David was given a beautiful voice and the mountains and birds would sing with him. He could also mould iron with his hands. Wait for Goliath!
David was given a beautiful voice and the mountains and birds would sing with him. He could also mould iron with his hands. Wait for Goliath!
24-SILLY QURAN
David killed Goliath! Then became king! That must have been one hell of a slingshot for the Giant!
David killed Goliath! Then became king! That must have been one hell of a slingshot for the Giant!
25-SILLY QURAN
Abraham saw a dream about sacrificing his son to God and actually attempted to slaughter him only for the boy to be magically replaced by an animal. This is why Muslims sacrifice animals on Eid.
Abraham saw a dream about sacrificing his son to God and actually attempted to slaughter him only for the boy to be magically replaced by an animal. This is why Muslims sacrifice animals on Eid.
26-SILLY QURAN
Abraham asked Allah to show him give life to the dead. Abraham took 4 birds and slaughtered them leaving their remains on nearby hills. When he called them the mutilated body parts flew and merged back together! Zombie Birds!
Abraham asked Allah to show him give life to the dead. Abraham took 4 birds and slaughtered them leaving their remains on nearby hills. When he called them the mutilated body parts flew and merged back together! Zombie Birds!
27-SILLY QURAN
Jesus could speak as a newborn baby! He could give life to the dead! He could heal blind and lepers! He would breathe life into clay birds!
Jesus could speak as a newborn baby! He could give life to the dead! He could heal blind and lepers! He would breathe life into clay birds!
28-SILLY QURAN
When Mary was giving birth to Jesus she heard a voice from beneath that informed her of a magical water spring and to shake the tree!
When Mary was giving birth to Jesus she heard a voice from beneath that informed her of a magical water spring and to shake the tree!
29-SILLY QURAN
Mary would get free food by Angel Delivery service from Allah! Even Zachariah was surprised where the food was coming from! Or maybe someone other than an angel frequented the chamber of secrets
Mary would get free food by Angel Delivery service from Allah! Even Zachariah was surprised where the food was coming from! Or maybe someone other than an angel frequented the chamber of secrets
30-SILLY QURAN
Allah sent a table full of food floating from heaven for Jesus and his buddies for their last supper! This Angel food delivery service sounds like a lucrative idea!
Allah sent a table full of food floating from heaven for Jesus and his buddies for their last supper! This Angel food delivery service sounds like a lucrative idea!
31-SILLY QURAN
Jesus was not crucified nor killed! Infact Allah did a quick plastic surgery and made someone else look like Jesus! He raised Jesus to heaven alive where he awaits his second coming before judgment day! That is shady Oh My Lord!
Jesus was not crucified nor killed! Infact Allah did a quick plastic surgery and made someone else look like Jesus! He raised Jesus to heaven alive where he awaits his second coming before judgment day! That is shady Oh My Lord!
