To my fear of abandonment folks, I’m so sorry that things were done to you and people hurt you. You didn’t deserve any of that, and still don’t. No matter how bad you feel about yourself, you’re worthy of genuine love, acceptance, and safety.

Honestly, we don’t talk about fear of abandonment properly enough. We really make it out to be this pop culture shit thays assigned to hopeless romantics and not a trauma response often stemmed from childhood that we had zero control over. But here it is, dictating our life.

My fellow fear of abandonment Badasses, you will find a safe love and you will work for it. You will heal and grow in it. This isn’t a life sentence or something you need to get used to. You deserve actual love as much as the next guy.

People with fear of abandonment are massive over thinkers and perfectionists. It often stems from the idea that we’re not good enough to be loved, therefore we assume the worst (even though the worst isn’t likely to happen).

I know there’s this popular idea that if you have fear of abandonment you’re needy or untrusting. But your amygdala is actually trying to protect you from getting abandoned again by causing you to hold on tightly for confirmation or run like hell.

Another common thing, people with abandonment wounds gravitate to friends and lovers who confirm their beliefs about themselves. I know it’s terrifying to be loved, but someone will see all you genuinely are and stay through the ups and downs.

I don’t like the idea that “love completes you” but look guys, someone is going to love you so hard and speak beautiful things over you. That’s not a story for some people, it’s a story for everyone with a god damn pulse.