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WORST DISCOURSE OF 2020 ELIMINATION COMPETITION
Its been one hell of a year for terrible internet discourse. I've chosen 16 to go head to head to "definitively" determine the WORST DISCOURSE OF 2020. There will be 1 round each day, with 24 hours to vote.
Today, Round 1:
Its been one hell of a year for terrible internet discourse. I've chosen 16 to go head to head to "definitively" determine the WORST DISCOURSE OF 2020. There will be 1 round each day, with 24 hours to vote.
Today, Round 1:
[1] Sexual Mutual Aid
vs
[16] Graham Linehan "Queer Studies is Grooming"
vs
[16] Graham Linehan "Queer Studies is Grooming"
[2] Plandemic (All COVID conspiracy theories)
vs
[15] How can you live without Bodegas?
vs
[15] How can you live without Bodegas?
[3] SocialistDogMom Caused the Tree of Life Shooting
vs
[14] Liking "Petite" Women is Rooted in Pedophilia
vs
[14] Liking "Petite" Women is Rooted in Pedophilia
[4] STOP THE STEAL (Trump won the Election)
vs
[13] Elizabeth Warren Holocaust Tattoos
vs
[13] Elizabeth Warren Holocaust Tattoos
[5] Harper's Cancel Culture Letter
vs
[12] "Himbo" is Ableist
vs
[12] "Himbo" is Ableist
[6] "Ghosting is Rape"
vs
[11] Are Cashiers Working Class or Cops?
vs
[11] Are Cashiers Working Class or Cops?
[7] "Fuck Anne Frank"
vs
[10] Charcuterie is "the definition of Bourgeois Decadence"
vs
[10] Charcuterie is "the definition of Bourgeois Decadence"
[8] Bernie Reminds me of my Abuser
vs
[9] All Therapist Are Cops
vs
[9] All Therapist Are Cops
Many, MANY people have suggested discourses I missed. I am adding a “losers bracket” for the losers of the rounds to face 8 additional discourses that were left off. The winner of the losers bracket will face the ultimate winner in a bonus round. Nominate missed discourses here:
ROUND ONE RESULTS:
First, this clearly took off way more than I could've ever imagined. I expected maybe 100 votes, I got 30,000. It's absurd. This bracket isn't perfect, I put it together in 20 minutes on a lark. Please forgive / cancel me as you see fit
On to the results:
First, this clearly took off way more than I could've ever imagined. I expected maybe 100 votes, I got 30,000. It's absurd. This bracket isn't perfect, I put it together in 20 minutes on a lark. Please forgive / cancel me as you see fit
On to the results:
In the closest match of the round - the only one that kept going back and forth - GRAHAM LINEHAN'S "QUEER STUDIES IS GROOMING" pulled away at the end to beat my personal favorite Sexual Mutual Aid.
I still think y'all are wrong and will file lawsuits to demand a recount.
I still think y'all are wrong and will file lawsuits to demand a recount.
PLANDEMIC completely blew away Bodega discourse and created discourse of its own about whether or not it counts as "discourse". The answer is "I don't care"
'PETITE' IS PEDOPHILIA was clearly more (un)popular than I thought, and disproved the recency bias, trouncing Tree of Life
'PETITE' IS PEDOPHILIA was clearly more (un)popular than I thought, and disproved the recency bias, trouncing Tree of Life
STOP THE STEAL (see Plandemic re: shut up) pulled away with what was once a close match against Warren's Holocaust Tattoos, upsetting many
'HIMBO' IS Ableist easily cancels Harper's Cancel Culture letter, which I think will likely have impact for years to come.
'HIMBO' IS Ableist easily cancels Harper's Cancel Culture letter, which I think will likely have impact for years to come.
GHOSTING IS RAPE beat Cashier discourse, once again disproving recency bias.
FUCK ANNE FRANK and Charcuterie is Bourgeois were both historically awful discourses, but the people have decided that mocking a holocaust victim is probably worse than cheese
FUCK ANNE FRANK and Charcuterie is Bourgeois were both historically awful discourses, but the people have decided that mocking a holocaust victim is probably worse than cheese
Finally, BERNIE IS MY ABUSER makes a strong case for it going all the way in trouncing All Therapists Are Cops. Many had not heard of the second discourse, so thanks to the losers who support it for coming into the comments and changing that.
Due to popular demand for more awful discourse, I have added 8 more competitors in a "Bonus Bracket". They will face off against the losers from the main bracket and in the end the winners of both will face off for the championship. Both brackets will run 1 round each day, 24hrs.
BONUS BRACKET ROUND 1
In each of these matches, one of the losers from Round 1 of the main Bracket will face off against a new discourse that was popularly demanded to be added to the contest. Consider it half second chance/half appeasement. No seeds cause that pissed y'all off.
In each of these matches, one of the losers from Round 1 of the main Bracket will face off against a new discourse that was popularly demanded to be added to the contest. Consider it half second chance/half appeasement. No seeds cause that pissed y'all off.
Sexual Mutual Aid / Woke Comfort Women
vs
Men Owning Infinite Jest is a Red Flag
vs
Men Owning Infinite Jest is a Red Flag
How Do You Live Without Bodegas?
vs
Teenager Marries Dementia Patient for His Money
vs
Teenager Marries Dementia Patient for His Money
SocialistDogMom caused the Tree of Life shooting by not calling the FBI on her stalker
vs
Lilo (6F) from Lilo & Stitch is an abuser
vs
Lilo (6F) from Lilo & Stitch is an abuser
Elizabeth Warren Holocaust Tattoos
vs
Are Closeted Writers Allowed To Write Queer Characters?
vs
Are Closeted Writers Allowed To Write Queer Characters?
Harper's Cancel Culture Letter
vs
'Karen' is a Slur
vs
'Karen' is a Slur
Are Cashiers workers or cops?
vs
Is it feminist to hire a housekeeper during lockdown?
vs
Is it feminist to hire a housekeeper during lockdown?
Charcuterie is "the definition of Bourgeois Decadence"
vs
Why are none of Trump's Portland Gestapo Women?
vs
Why are none of Trump's Portland Gestapo Women?
All Therapists Are Cops
vs
Wormgate
vs
Wormgate
MAIN BRACKET ROUND 2
...and then there were 8....except not really, cause there's a whole additional bracket...whatever, I'm not getting paid enough (read: anything) to care. Anyway, as the liberals say:
VOTE
...and then there were 8....except not really, cause there's a whole additional bracket...whatever, I'm not getting paid enough (read: anything) to care. Anyway, as the liberals say:
VOTE
[16] Graham Linehan's "Queer Studies is Grooming"
vs
[8] Bernie Reminds Me of My Abuser
vs
[8] Bernie Reminds Me of My Abuser
[4] Stop The Steal
vs
[12] 'Himbo' is Ableist
vs
[12] 'Himbo' is Ableist
[14] Liking 'Petite' Women is Rooted in Pedophilia
vs
[6] "Ghosting is Rape"
vs
[6] "Ghosting is Rape"
[2] Plandemic
vs
[7] "Fuck Anne Frank"
vs
[7] "Fuck Anne Frank"
DAY 2 RESULTS
SEXUAL MUTUAL AID has its day in the bonus bracket, making up for losing its first round match and showing yet again that nobody gives a shit about Infinite Jest
DEMENTIA PATIENT GRIFT similarly holds off Bodega discourse, showing no one cares about NYC either.
SEXUAL MUTUAL AID has its day in the bonus bracket, making up for losing its first round match and showing yet again that nobody gives a shit about Infinite Jest
DEMENTIA PATIENT GRIFT similarly holds off Bodega discourse, showing no one cares about NYC either.
LILO IS AN ABUSER knocks off the Tree of Life Discourse, but not before it could create more discourse about whether I'm antisemitic for including it.
WHO CAN WRITE QUEER CHARACTERS, knocks off Elizabeth Warren Holocaust Tattoos, which once again proves I'm a self-hating Jew.
WHO CAN WRITE QUEER CHARACTERS, knocks off Elizabeth Warren Holocaust Tattoos, which once again proves I'm a self-hating Jew.
KAREN IS A SLUR - perhaps the worst oversight of the main bracket - blew the Cancel Culture letter out of the water and makes itself the discourse to beat.
FEMINIST CLEANERS represents for non-American discourse, as the British fiasco outdoes Cashier Cops.
FEMINIST CLEANERS represents for non-American discourse, as the British fiasco outdoes Cashier Cops.
MORE FEMALE SECRET POLICE, the most inevitably liberal response to the Portland uprising, eliminated Charcuterie, liberating cheese for the proletariat.
ALL THERAPISTS ARE COPS doubled Wormgate, perhaps due to the absolute hell discourse it's believers started in the comments
ALL THERAPISTS ARE COPS doubled Wormgate, perhaps due to the absolute hell discourse it's believers started in the comments
Meanwhile over in Round 2 of the main Bracket, BERNIE IS MY ABUSER faced very tough competition from QUEER STUDIES IS GROOMING, but once again Graham Linehan has been kicked off twitter.
HIMBO IS ABLEIST stole the election from Stop the Steal, which still refuses to concede.
HIMBO IS ABLEIST stole the election from Stop the Steal, which still refuses to concede.
GHOSTING IS RAPE won the battle of sexual discourses against Petite is Pedophilia. Go ahead and simp for your short queens.
Finally, Plandemic may be why we're all stuck on this hellsite in 2020, but in the closest match so far, FUCK ANNE FRANK barely eeked out the win
Finally, Plandemic may be why we're all stuck on this hellsite in 2020, but in the closest match so far, FUCK ANNE FRANK barely eeked out the win
MAIN BRACKET SEMIFINALS
Only four discourses remain to compete in the main bracket for one of the two slots in the Ultimate Final. Which one will be crowned the Worst?
Only four discourses remain to compete in the main bracket for one of the two slots in the Ultimate Final. Which one will be crowned the Worst?
[8] Bernie Reminds Me of My Abuser
vs
[12] 'Himbo' is Ableist
vs
[12] 'Himbo' is Ableist
[6] "Ghosting is Rape"
vs
[7] "Fuck Anne Frank"
vs
[7] "Fuck Anne Frank"
BONUS BRACKET ROUND 2
The 8 winners from round 1 compete off against each other while the four losers from round 2 of the main bracket are given a second chance against each other.
The 8 winners from round 1 compete off against each other while the four losers from round 2 of the main bracket are given a second chance against each other.
Sexual Mutual Aid / Woke Comfort Women
vs
Teenager Marries Dementia Patient for His Money
vs
Teenager Marries Dementia Patient for His Money
Lilo (6F) from Lilo & Stitch is an abuser
vs
Are Closeted Writers Allowed To Write Queer Characters?
vs
Are Closeted Writers Allowed To Write Queer Characters?
'Karen' is a Slur
vs
Is it feminist to hire a housekeeper during lockdown?
vs
Is it feminist to hire a housekeeper during lockdown?
Why are none of Trump's Portland Gestapo Women?
vs
All Therapists Are Cops
vs
All Therapists Are Cops
Graham Linehan's "Queer Studies is Grooming"
vs
Stop the Steal
vs
Stop the Steal
Liking 'Petite' Women is Rooted in Pedophilia
vs
Plandemic
vs
Plandemic
DAY 3 RESULTS
In the main bracket, the semifinals are over and we now have our two finalists
BERNIE IS MY ABUSER and GHOSTING IS RAPE both safely defeated Himbo is Ableist and Fuck Anne Frank respectively, setting up an epic final for Bracket 1.
In the main bracket, the semifinals are over and we now have our two finalists
BERNIE IS MY ABUSER and GHOSTING IS RAPE both safely defeated Himbo is Ableist and Fuck Anne Frank respectively, setting up an epic final for Bracket 1.
In the Bonus bracket, SEXUAL MUTUAL AID proves its original round 1 loss to be a fluke, sending the Dementia Patient Grift to the grave
LILO IS AN ABUSER proves that cancelling a 6 year old is worse than telling closeted adult writers that they cant write queer characters
LILO IS AN ABUSER proves that cancelling a 6 year old is worse than telling closeted adult writers that they cant write queer characters
KAREN IS A SLUR blows Feminist Cleaners out of the water. It now has both of the highest win percentages, making it the discourse to beat.
A quieter discourse day in the comments spells the final end for All Therapists Are Cops as FEMALE SECRET POLICE takes it to a black site.
A quieter discourse day in the comments spells the final end for All Therapists Are Cops as FEMALE SECRET POLICE takes it to a black site.
Finally, both of the "real world" discourses meet their final end as Stop the Steal and Plandemic fall to QUEER STUDIES IS GROOMING and PETITE IS PEDOPHILIA respectively. Both of the losers are destined to continue well into 2021, so we sadly haven't seen the last of them.
MAIN BRACKET FINALS
Who will be the champion of the 1st bracket and secure one of the two spots in the Ultimate Finals?
[8] Bernie Reminds Me Of My Abuser
vs
[6] Ghosting is Rape
Who will be the champion of the 1st bracket and secure one of the two spots in the Ultimate Finals?
[8] Bernie Reminds Me Of My Abuser
vs
[6] Ghosting is Rape
BONUS BRACKET QUARTERFINALS
This is the last 24 hour round, and the last round where losers of the main bracket get a second chance. Tomorrow we'll have shorter semifinals and finals in this bracket, leading to the Ultimate Final against the main bracket winner on New Years Eve.
This is the last 24 hour round, and the last round where losers of the main bracket get a second chance. Tomorrow we'll have shorter semifinals and finals in this bracket, leading to the Ultimate Final against the main bracket winner on New Years Eve.
Sexual Mutual Aid / Woke Comfort Women
vs
Lilo (6F) from Lilo & Stitch is an abuser
vs
Lilo (6F) from Lilo & Stitch is an abuser
'Karen' is a Slur
vs
Why are None of Trump's Portland Gestapo Women?
vs
Why are None of Trump's Portland Gestapo Women?
Graham Linehan's "Queer Studies is Grooming"
vs
Liking 'Petite' Women is Rooted in Pedophilia
vs
Liking 'Petite' Women is Rooted in Pedophilia
'Himbo' is Ableist
vs
"Fuck Anne Frank"
vs
"Fuck Anne Frank"
