I’m trying to learn to put my vulnerability in my work, not on social media. It’s a scam that social media deserves to see your private life, your joy and your pain, just because you write about mental illness and are a woman.

They really condition us to overshare

If your heart is truly open to sharing yourself on these apps, then I support you! But I’m thinking about how much of mental health writing seems to rely upon us proving that we have societal markers of happiness, or sharing our daily pain

Y’all will probably never see anything about my relationships, children, etc., unless it’s in a book that you buy.

Realizing how much of that is us feeling we have to prove ourselves worthy of love.

Maybe I’ll change my mind later but I don’t think so. And I’m leaning away from talking about my pain also, because it’s not your business. It feels good to vent but as they say “save it for the memoirs”

A lot of this is misogyny and ableism. Women Instagram influencers are constantly criticized for being “fake.” I think about these women who share lovely pictures of their families and people are like “but you don’t talk about how you and your husband fight”

They share a picture of them looking happy and people ask “but where’s the truth about the days where you can’t get out of bed?”

Then they share “my partner and I have had our ups and downs,” and people judge them and call them toxic.

Then they talk about their mental health issues and people accuse them of not digging deeper. But if they have a mental breakdown on social media, people call them crazy and gossip about it.

I have found a lot of joy in social media but I’ve found that my joy is actually in NOT oversharing about my happiness or my pain, just existing. I don’t have to prove anything to y’all.

I think that’s also why Twitter is so harmful for Black mentally ill women in particular because this app rewards you for sharing the most intimate parts of yourself, or fighting bigots. It does not reward you for sharing simple joys — a good meal you made or a beautiful plant

I also think it can be really helpful to talk about the struggles of being mentally ill on Twitter. It can be affirming and powerful. But how to do that without exposing your innards? That’s what I want.

For example, when I am tweeting about these things, I prefer to not use personal anecdotes. Sometimes it’s hard when I’m experiencing suicidal ideation (which is near-constant, no matter how well my life is going) but I still try to refrain from digging too deep

Anyway, all of this was sparked by looking at women posting pictures of their families and at the same time, seeing tweets that judge those kind of women for putting on performances.