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As an adult children of a dysfunctional family (Alcoholism and divorce), one of the great defeaters I was unaware of in my own ministry was how I transfered relationships with people in my family of origin onto relationships with people in my congregation. 1/5
Unknowingly, I responded to people in my community in unhealthy ways because of an unconscious association I made between them and a family member of origin or childhood. 2/5
An extremely helpful practice has been to reflect on all of my relationships in order identify these associations and the assumptions I have made about these people on the basis of them. 3/5
Only after these are identified, am I able to relate to them on the basis of my experience with them, not what I have imported into the relationship. This has gone a long way towards removing misunderstandings and improving communication. Most importantly, I have been able to 4/5
