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six months into their actual physical relationship you know wwx sits lwj down, levels him with a hard stare, and is like. “lan zhan. dear. love of my life. fire of my loins. etc. are you ever going to tell me what you want.”
and lwj is like ? i want you. and wwx (who prepared himself for this) is like “yes dear that’s very nice. but what else do you want. what MORE do you want. im talking specifically sexually but if you have any romantic desires i’m not currently meeting i’m all ears.”
lwj says, “you are satisfying to me in every possible way.”
and wwx is like “yes dear that’s still very nice. but. say i was not me. and you were with someone else.”
“no,” lwj says.
wwx laughs. “lan zhan! you give me everything i want. well. i want you to humour me.”
and wwx is like “yes dear that’s still very nice. but. say i was not me. and you were with someone else.”
“no,” lwj says.
wwx laughs. “lan zhan! you give me everything i want. well. i want you to humour me.”
lwj, hoisted by his own petard, is quiet. then he says, “i don’t know. wei ying. it does make me happy to make you happy.”
and wwx says “it makes me happy to make you happy, too! but i also beg you to fuck me so hard i cry sometimes! do you want me to fuck you so hard you cry?”
and wwx says “it makes me happy to make you happy, too! but i also beg you to fuck me so hard i cry sometimes! do you want me to fuck you so hard you cry?”
lwj blinks at him.
wwx says, hastily, “actually, i don’t know if i could. physically, i don’t know if i could. so if that’s your deepest darkest sexual desire then i’m preemptively sorry.”
“hm,” lwj says. amusement melts into the corners of his expression.
wwx says, hastily, “actually, i don’t know if i could. physically, i don’t know if i could. so if that’s your deepest darkest sexual desire then i’m preemptively sorry.”
“hm,” lwj says. amusement melts into the corners of his expression.
“i don’t think my deepest darkest sexual desire is for you to make me cry.”
wwx crosses his arms. he sniffs, playfully indignant. “well! congratulations to you on being so well adjusted!”
lwj inclines his head. “it took me many years after you died to become so.”
“right.”
wwx crosses his arms. he sniffs, playfully indignant. “well! congratulations to you on being so well adjusted!”
lwj inclines his head. “it took me many years after you died to become so.”
“right.”
wwx allows a semi-respectable amount of considerate silence to pass before continuing, “do you want to fuck me nicer? meaner? softer? harder?” he pauses. “i hope not harder, because that would imply you’ve been holding out on me and that would cause a rift in our relationship.”
“i have not been holding out on you,” lwj says.
wwx puts a hand over his heart. “thats good.”
he crawls into lwj’s lap, then freezes. “do you want to sit in /my/ lap?”
“no. only because i prefer you in mine.”
wwx is too married to lwj’s lap not to be relieved by that.
wwx puts a hand over his heart. “thats good.”
he crawls into lwj’s lap, then freezes. “do you want to sit in /my/ lap?”
“no. only because i prefer you in mine.”
wwx is too married to lwj’s lap not to be relieved by that.
wwx goes through the mental list of things they haven’t tried yet, including all the things he wants to try and hasn’t had the gumption or blood alcohol level to bring up yet. maybe somewhere along the way lwj will tumble down a sexual well all his own and they can go from there.
he ticks them off on his fingers as he goes. it takes a while. when he’s done, lwj grabs his hands and wraps them in his own and says. “i will try all of those things with you, except pretending you’re a corpse.”
“ah.” wwx waves him off. “knew that one was a long shot.”
“ah.” wwx waves him off. “knew that one was a long shot.”
“but more importantly, lan zhan, did any of those speak to the deepest desires of your heart?”
“maybe. i haven’t done any of them yet.”
“yeah but— neither have i and at least i know i want to try! you have to have some idea.”
“maybe. i haven’t done any of them yet.”
“yeah but— neither have i and at least i know i want to try! you have to have some idea.”
“i want to please you. i want to make you happy.”
“you do! lan zhan you do, every moment of every day! you are a very very very very very very good boy.” he kisses the tip of lwj’s nose. “you take such good care of me. isn’t it only fair i get to take care of you in return?”
“you do! lan zhan you do, every moment of every day! you are a very very very very very very good boy.” he kisses the tip of lwj’s nose. “you take such good care of me. isn’t it only fair i get to take care of you in return?”
fifteen minute intermission while they make out.
finally wwx breaks away, lips red and kiss-bitten, grinding down into lwj’s lap but forcing himself to stop with only a little whine. “wait! stop! aah lan zhan!”
lwj, one hand tangled in wwx’s hair and one digging into his upper thigh, says, “what if it’s what i want?”
lwj, one hand tangled in wwx’s hair and one digging into his upper thigh, says, “what if it’s what i want?”
wwx says “yeah but—!”
lwj says, “wei ying. your kindness and deference is noted. but you speak as if i don’t enjoy this.” he tightens his grip in wwx’s hair, skirts his hand a little higher. “i do. very much. every time.”
“yeah but—!”
lwj mouths along the line of his throat.
lwj says, “wei ying. your kindness and deference is noted. but you speak as if i don’t enjoy this.” he tightens his grip in wwx’s hair, skirts his hand a little higher. “i do. very much. every time.”
“yeah but—!”
lwj mouths along the line of his throat.
“wei ying,” he says, sharper. he bites down. wwx groans. “i like to bite you.”
“i know, lan zhan! i know. you’re very accomplished at biting me.”
lan zhan’s hand moves to the crease between hip and thigh, digging in. “i like when you misbehave. i like to discipline you.”
“i know, lan zhan! i know. you’re very accomplished at biting me.”
lan zhan’s hand moves to the crease between hip and thigh, digging in. “i like when you misbehave. i like to discipline you.”
he continues, “it reminds me of when we were students together.”
wwx’s grin comes, then, easy and coquettish. something sparkles behind his ribs. “oh yeah, lan zhan? we should do that sometime. we can dress the part and everything.”
“yes,” lwj says. “i want that.”
wwx’s grin comes, then, easy and coquettish. something sparkles behind his ribs. “oh yeah, lan zhan? we should do that sometime. we can dress the part and everything.”
“yes,” lwj says. “i want that.”
lwj’s hand is moving again, and they’re quite far along the path of no logistically coherent return for a while when wwx really slaps lwj on the chest. “hey!” he snaps. “lan zhan! we were having a conversation!”
“i thought it was concluded,” lwj says against his collarbone.
“i thought it was concluded,” lwj says against his collarbone.
“no!” wwx takes lwj’s chin in his hand and tips it up to look at him. usually, it’s the other way around. the pinker wwx gets, the more lwj generally likes to watch him.
hm. another thing lan zhan likes.
wwx says, “lan zhan! we were talking about your desires!”
hm. another thing lan zhan likes.
wwx says, “lan zhan! we were talking about your desires!”
as far as wwx can tell, lwj does not move at all, yet somehow makes his erection even more noticeable where it presses against wwx’s ass.
wwx scolds him. “a very good trick!” lwj just stares at him, perfectly neutral save the quirk of an eyebrow.
wwx scolds him. “a very good trick!” lwj just stares at him, perfectly neutral save the quirk of an eyebrow.
lwj says, “i am no inventor like you. i am not as imaginative as you. this does not upset me. i like to hear about your research and your dreams. i like to explore new things with you.”
wwx, again, says, “yeah but—“ and lwj sticks a finger in his mouth.
“hush, wei ying.”
wwx, again, says, “yeah but—“ and lwj sticks a finger in his mouth.
“hush, wei ying.”
only when wwx starts to suck does lwj say, “you are here with me, after so long of not being.” the fingers wwx currently isn’t tending to stroke his jaw. “i understand that may make you uncomfortable, like the scales between us are unbalanced. like you have it too easy.”
after a moment, wwx’s eyes gone hot and itchy, lwj says, definitively, “you have never had it too easy.”
wwx puts his head down. lwj slips his finger out of his mouth and cups his face in one hand. this time, he’s the one who tips wwx’s chin up towards him.
wwx puts his head down. lwj slips his finger out of his mouth and cups his face in one hand. this time, he’s the one who tips wwx’s chin up towards him.
lwj says, “are you asking me this because you feel like a burden? do you feel like you are taking something from me when you ask me to do things for you or to you?”
wwx says “no, lan zhan, i swear.” but his voice trembles and breaks. “you make it so easy to ask. i feel awful.”
wwx says “no, lan zhan, i swear.” but his voice trembles and breaks. “you make it so easy to ask. i feel awful.”
“unless it is truly impossible, i will give you whatever you want,” lwj says.
wwx shakes his head, eyes closed. “this is about you,” he says, pained. “i twisted it all up. it’s supposed to be about you and what you want, lan zhan.”
“i want to take care of you,” lwj says.
wwx shakes his head, eyes closed. “this is about you,” he says, pained. “i twisted it all up. it’s supposed to be about you and what you want, lan zhan.”
“i want to take care of you,” lwj says.
“i want to bite you. i want to pretend we are students again. i want you in my lap. i want my fingers in your mouth. i want to try new things with you. i want, very badly, to have sex with you now.” his gaze, when it meets wwx’s, is determined and dark. “is that enough?”
wwx says, pleading, “lan zhan.” lwj wipes at the smattering of tears that fall the next time wwx blinks. wwx has a fistful of lwj’s robes. “ah, lan zhan.” he clenches his teeth. “you promise to tell me, ah? if there’s something you want from me? i’ll give it, in a heartbeat.”
lwj inclines his head. wwx breathes out and tries to unclench. “even if it’s fucking you so hard you cry? i know i said i didn’t think i could do it, but if you really wanted it, i would try.”
lwj— laughs, just small. wwx’s heart shatters into a thousand glittering pieces.
lwj— laughs, just small. wwx’s heart shatters into a thousand glittering pieces.
“i don’t want it. but if i change my mind, i will tell you.”
wwx nods furiously. “even if it’s— if you want to hold hands differently. or want me to wear a different color ribbon in my hair. or a blow job. or like that time i had honey on my mouth and you licked it right off!”
wwx nods furiously. “even if it’s— if you want to hold hands differently. or want me to wear a different color ribbon in my hair. or a blow job. or like that time i had honey on my mouth and you licked it right off!”
wwx says, “anything, lan zhan. i mean it.”
lwj says, “yes, anything, wei ying,” and kisses him.
and then lwj gets what he wants.
(/fin)
lwj says, “yes, anything, wei ying,” and kisses him.
and then lwj gets what he wants.
(/fin)
