We need to talk about A California Christmas RIGHT NOW This movie is the most god-awful agrarian porn turned romantic patriotic love story, potentially ever. Here's the synopsis: “With his carefree lifestyle on the line, a wealthy charmer poses as a ranch had to get...

... a hardworking farmer to sell her family’s land before Christmas.”

I know.

Here's some of the most egregious things I've seen heard so far, and I'm only 20 minutes and 41 seconds in to a nearly 2 hour long movie:

Main dude bro (driving through Napa County, CA): “Who lives out here, it looks like a whole lot of nothing.”

Average per capita income in Napa County, about $88k annually. Average home value, almost $800k. No millionaire (or whatever) would think/say this.

Trying to setting aside the cutoff mini-shorts fresh from American Eagle the "dairy farmer" is wearing, and the fact that her cow is giving birth tied up in a dirty lean-to. Super legit.

Not sure why she would name a male calf, he’s not sticking around.

Or why a dairy would have a gator with four seats in it? Especially if they're "broke." That's $17k of junk when literally two people work there. And what are they doing with the single bale of straw?

I'm going to set aside the whole conversation they have where she brags about the fact that they are in flipping the bird to labor laws/protections and proud of it for now, check out the BTF email later for a thorough analysis

The farmer's one-dimensional hatred of city people doesn’t make any sense, and frankly, is insulting to farmers. Rural people are not a monolith that feel universal hatred towards city people, and it's so dumb to imply that.

Have you seen the inside of this ranch kitchen?! They have a six burner gas range and can afford expensive medical care for the mom. These people have plenty of money. Also, THEY OWN FARMLAND IN NAPA. THEY ARE LOADED.

To which I will add simply, plant grapes, you dumb shits.

Why the F are you raising dairy cattle in Napa.

I'm feeling this movie lean real hard into the misogyny of ag, but just trying to pretend they can swap a lady farmer in for a male farmer and make it okay. Which you 100% cannot. When female farmers act like male farmers, they are hate-able, which pretty much tells you all...

...you need to know about the way male farmers usually act, and that really reveals how much bullshit we overlook as long as you're wearing overalls and tear up a little when you talk about "MA LAND"

The whole character of Manny is just. No.

This white washing of the experience of farmworkers is atrocious.

"It's a dairy farm, so it's pretty easy."

Could they have talked to just one farm worker. Please. Just one.

Apropos of nothing; I applaud both Napa Tourism and Coleman's pretty tasteful product placement.

They just showed b-roll of vineyards. Then a cock crowed. Then showed calf pens with really old calves in them.

Y'all come on.

Okay. What. The farmer "gave him a list" of tasks that looks like it was written by the 8 year old. The list:
-Muck the pens
-Milk cows
-Split wood

Did Pa Ingles Wilder write this list?

And he doesn't know how to muck pens? He needs it explained (apparently he also doesn't know how to google) and it's like 10am and they haven't done the first milking yet?! WTF? And he uses a brand new broom to muck?!

Sorry but "I've got my ax stuck in a stump" is actually pretty good.

Like it makes no sense, but it's decent joke writing.

Ooof I spoke too soon. It was followed by a truly terrible joke for 11th graders.

The thread goes on.... https://twitter.com/sarah_k_mock/status/1342162046964674560?s=20