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As we hit lunchtime on Christmas Eve, I feel like the period of ignoring experts is over. While Twitter gives you *opinions* on things like epidemiology, international trade deals or who should manage Arsenal, it’s time to get real and give you *expertise* on ... eating.
Tomorrow is a big day. Many of you consider yourselves highly successful gluttons, trenchermen and greedy b*stards, but I have had the privilege not just to play at the highest level, but to watch experts in their craft at close quarters. The Maradonas & Messis of lunch & dinner.
If you only take one thing away, let it be this. Christmas lunch, while undoubtedly the pinnacle event of annual eating and drinking, cannot be treated as a one-off game. The best of you will have trained for some time. For the rest here are some key tips.
1. Warm Up
You wouldn’t run a marathon without warming up first. Christmas Eve is your warm up. I’ve already eaten French Toast and a @CoombesheadF meat pie. I haven’t had lunch yet. When I do I’ll start with @kernelbrewery Table beer. I’ll eat regularly for the rest of the day.
You wouldn’t run a marathon without warming up first. Christmas Eve is your warm up. I’ve already eaten French Toast and a @CoombesheadF meat pie. I haven’t had lunch yet. When I do I’ll start with @kernelbrewery Table beer. I’ll eat regularly for the rest of the day.
If you go into Xmas having ‘fasted’ to create room you have made a massive error. Your stomach will have shrunk. You’re only cheating yourself.
2. Slow and Steady wins the race.
You’ve got to put in the commitment on Xmas morning, by which point the preparation in the house may have gone on for a week. A mince pie before 8 is a helpful ‘canary in the mine’ to your body that a serious day is ahead.
You’ve got to put in the commitment on Xmas morning, by which point the preparation in the house may have gone on for a week. A mince pie before 8 is a helpful ‘canary in the mine’ to your body that a serious day is ahead.
3. You may need a drink early too
But this isn’t the time to go above 14% abv. You may think you’re in @MitchTonks’ league and can handle brandy for breakfast (or a cheeky Fernet Branca) but it’s important to be realistic at this stage.
But this isn’t the time to go above 14% abv. You may think you’re in @MitchTonks’ league and can handle brandy for breakfast (or a cheeky Fernet Branca) but it’s important to be realistic at this stage.
3. Know your lunch
If you’re having 4 courses (a reasonable minimum) then don’t treat the first one like it’s all that there is to eat, nor get drunk before you can smell the spouts. This is amateur behaviour that will see you fall asleep on the sofa before the correct hour.
If you’re having 4 courses (a reasonable minimum) then don’t treat the first one like it’s all that there is to eat, nor get drunk before you can smell the spouts. This is amateur behaviour that will see you fall asleep on the sofa before the correct hour.
4. Treat lunch as linner
Linner is when lunch fades into dinner. You should always have ready access to a little bit more of something. For most of you this will be cheese, but bear in mind the 5th lesson ...
Linner is when lunch fades into dinner. You should always have ready access to a little bit more of something. For most of you this will be cheese, but bear in mind the 5th lesson ...
Not sure why the thread broke in the middle. It continues here. https://twitter.com/hawksmoorlondon/status/1342096457139167234
