: 71 mo. have passed now. Can I please have the settlement letter.

: Hi sir, please make final payment of R74 550 into the following account details...

: Why R74 550? I thought I was done with the installments...

: It is the balance on your balloon payment sir.

: I don’t have that kind of money.

: You will have to refinance the car or sell it to recover the amounts sir.

: How much would I pay for refinancing, for how long?

: Since this is technically now a personal loan, your new interest rate will be 25% for 36 months.

: you would then have to pay R3326.26 for 36 months which will total R119 745.36.

: what? That’s R45 195.36 more in interests!

: that’s correct, you did sign for balloon financing sir. Would you want to rather sell the car and upgrade to a newer one?

: new car, yes

: the trade in value for your car is R85 700.00, meaning you get would back R11 150.00 after settling the balance. The new car you want costs R449 000, meaning we will apply for financing of R437 850 at 12% interest rate for 72 months, installments will be R8 636.04. Happy?

: that’s a bit too much, can we work out something to bring it down to under R7500?

: Yes sir, we can apply a 30% balloon payment which will bring the payments to R7384.01, your last payment will be R131 100.00 plus interests.

: okay seems doable. Leggo! YOLO!

: That’s great sir . (Thinking silently: “that’s a great commission for me! Bonus!”).
I will send you a link to an eForm to login and sign then we will contact you to go collect your car sir.

: blessings on blessings! Thanks a lot! I can’t wait to show them new wheels.

Collection day...

:

: he bought a new ride, he is swimming in money! His new promotion is really paying big bucks!

: Hey fam, like my new ride?! The old one was now boring me and had issues, this one is faster with a lot of new cool features. Blessed!

: congratulations bro, you must take us for a spin. Your car is really dope.

: of course, jump in and check it out!

: woah cool car man wow! This must’ve caused a fortune!

: the bank made a plan for me it was seamless.

6 months later...

: the installments to this car are really expensive, they’re really choking me, I can’t even see where my promotion increase is going.

: oh sorry man, how about you downgrade or sell the car?

: you know I can’t do that, people will say I’ve fallen.

26 months later...

: Mr. sir, your service plan has lapsed. You will need to pay R17 358.53 for us to service this car. Should we proceed?

: what? I don’t have that kind of money right now, let me try to increase my overdraft limit I’ll get back to you.

: Good afternoon sir, you qualify for an overdraft limit of R25 700. However you also pre-approved for a credit card limit of R63 800.
The more the merrier.

: I actually need to redo the bathroom, new couches & a new bed there by Rochester. Give me the credit card.

: awesome stuff, your new card interest rate is 18.25%, you will be required to pay all balances by 60 months if you max it out. The funds will be available within 24 hours. Thank you for choosing us.

:

: honey , I was thinking we go on holiday, I saw this place on Hyperli going for R10 500 5 night for stay for Two, flights will cost us about R4 250, food & activities R2 000. I will contribute R5 000 then you cover the rest.

: sure thing bae, Instagram will be so envious.

Credit card maxed. Minimum repayment now: R3 763

: I’m so broke, my salary not even covering all my bills.

: sell the car bro.

: no man, you’re not helping. I’ll just cancel the insurance and free up R2 600 at least. I’m a good driver after all.

4 months later...

: Hi sir, we are picking up an alert saying your tracking unit is off. Can you confirm everything is okay?

: what?! Oh no, I just looked outside the window I can’t see my car. Could you please track it, I think it’s stolen.

: we dispatched a team.

: we have traced the car to the last known location sir, we regret to inform you that the tracker unit was removed from the car and we therefore cannot find it sir. My sincere apologies on your loss.

:

The End.

Remember your C200? Now you see 200 final notice calls and SMSes a week.