I have Tweeted about this before, but here it is again, FYI. So, I was pretty feminine before T. I just preferred trousers and hated my period, like a lot of women do. I had no desire to be male or to be perceived as one. I went to a psychiatrist because I felt I needed help.

In the first session, which lasted minutes, he told me to write him an email about how I feel. In the email there is just a minimum related to GID as per above, which are what I now know to be normal women's things. In the second session, he just told me that mine is a genuine

case of gender identity disorder. I should have fucking researched what this disorder is because I never even had any of the symptoms which I now found on medical websites. The psychiatrist just referred me to an endocrinologist. Without explaining what testosterone does, he

prescribed it. Nor did he ask about my medical history or do any medical tests. Not even a blood test. He could have killed me. So, I just walked away with a normal medical prescription, thinking this medicine would make me happy and that it would help me have a social life,

sort of an antidepressant or antianxiety medication. I was not even presented with some sort of informed consent document. NOTHING. Years later, my country opened a gender identity clinic which operates through informed consent. To get the "medication" for free, I went there.

Got a very basic informed consent document which has little information about changes and side effects of testosterone. However, there was hair loss. I only took two "free" doses, three weeks apart. I stopped testosterone because of the hair loss less than two months after seeing

that form of consent. I thought to myself: "I'd rather get my period back instead of losing my hair". So I stopped without ever thinking that I need to detrans. And detrans for me meant using another name. As my period didn't come back immediately, like I thought it would, I

did some research online. I remember seeing a post on Susan's in which a woman wanted to take T and get some changes but then stop, thinking it would be reversible. One reply really shook me as it said that a lot of stuff is irreversible. I was shocked to find out that what I

hated about my body was a result of artificial stuff and not just aging on its own. That made me feel bad but still detransition was not on my mind. I didn't even quite know about it before reading another post. Around this same time, around a month after stopping testosterone,

I went back to study after almost a year break. I had new classmates. Become close to two, with one of them being the person who made me realise that my style of clothing does not make me a man. This is unlike what I have been hearing from my remaining parent for years, even way

before knowing about trans stuff. I did more research and found out that I will never be the same. That I saw and heard myself for the last time when I was 20. That I can never be the woman that I once was. I let more time pass and I eventually told these two girls that I am a

girl. Still thankful for their company although we haven't had any contact since we finished the course. During my final exams I barely had any strength left in me. I cried whole days and nights, even during the exams. Worse was yet to come.

For now this part of my story. More later. However this is enough to let you know that this was not my mistake. I never wanted to alter my body and I have no other body modification save for piercings for earrings which weren't my choice.