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1: We all know America is experiencing a surge of coronavirus-related deaths. We’re now past 320,000 total COVID-19 deaths in the U.S.
My mother was one of them.
My mother was one of them.
2: She died Dec. 5, a Sunday morning. I’ve debated writing about it. I finally decided I had a thing or two I wanted to say.
3: I saw a story this week and this jumped out at me:
“Something happens in the brain when fatalities reach such high numbers, say psychologists who have studied genocides and mass disasters…” https://www.washingtonpost.com/health/2020/12/21/covid-why-we-ignore-deaths/
“Something happens in the brain when fatalities reach such high numbers, say psychologists who have studied genocides and mass disasters…” https://www.washingtonpost.com/health/2020/12/21/covid-why-we-ignore-deaths/
4: “…The casualties become like a mountain of corpses that has grown so large it becomes difficult to focus on the individual bodies…”
5: “Without visual, physical manifestations of deaths, the alarm bells in our heads fail to ring, experts said. Because we don’t see the deaths, we fail to see their connection to us — including our role in preventing their growing numbers.”
6: Mary Jane Hulen was 82. She was a generous, big-hearted person with a big network of family, friends, acquaintances.
7: She had health issues, including chronic lung disease. She lived at home in northern Indiana with my 85-year-old father. As they grew older, they were able to live a rich life without much help. They made multiple trips to Alaska.
8: She was vulnerable to the coronavirus. As it roared through their part of the world, we were constantly concerned. They managed to avoid it for months.
9: We’d check in regularly and the answer was always the same: We’re fine. But we all knew that she was vulnerable. She rarely left the house.
10: They both finally got the virus in early November. They didn’t initially realize it. It’s unclear how they caught it.
11: One morning my dad found her passed out on the kitchen floor. She was rushed to the hospital. Her oxygen levels were very low. She stayed in the hospital for two full weeks. She spent Thanksgiving there.
12: COVID-19 wrecked her lungs. She was very weak. She never walked again. “Her body is shutting down,” a member of her medical team told us in one of many phone calls.
13: Finally she was released to end-of-life home hospice care on Nov. 28, the Saturday after Thanksgiving. She died eight days after that.
14: We were fortunate to be there to support her and my father once she came home.
If you’ve experienced the death of a loved at home in hospice care, you know what that’s like. She died peacefully.
She was buried Dec. 11.
If you’ve experienced the death of a loved at home in hospice care, you know what that’s like. She died peacefully.
She was buried Dec. 11.
15: Her being home, surrounded by family, meant everything.
16: Her death certificate:
17: My father’s coronavirus came and went with prolonged loss of taste and smell.
18: I didn’t write this for sympathy (though we deeply appreciate the people who heard about it and reached out).
Here’s the thing: It’s easy to think of COVID-19 deaths as numbers and bar graphs.
They’re not.
Here’s the thing: It’s easy to think of COVID-19 deaths as numbers and bar graphs.
They’re not.
19: We all know it but I have to say it: They’re real people with friends, family, loved ones, lives. The world’s a poorer place without my mom in it.
20: So please use some care. The vaccine is rolling out across the country but this isn’t over. You know what you need to do. Distance. Wash your hands. Wear a mask when you’re around other people.
Use some care.
Use some care.
21: By all means, live your life. Support local businesses. They’ve been crushed. They need help. They’re not just numbers and bar graphs, either.
But please, just use some care. Take care of yourself and think about other people.
But please, just use some care. Take care of yourself and think about other people.
22: Jane Hulen, 1938-2020
