I am fed up of pro-koala propaganda so I’m finally going to do a thread on why Koalas are top five worst animals that exist.
(I would say worst but ocean sunfish exist)

I will start off by saying though they are commonly known as koala bears, they are marsupials so that’s already false advertisement.

First of all, they are sooooooo dumb. Like unless a leaf is hanging from a tree they won’t recognise it as food. Like put a leaf on a flat surface, they won’t know what to do. And that’s cus they have such tiny brains. Not only that, their brains are SMOOTH.

We (as well as most mammals) have folds in our brains to increase surface area for neurons. Because intelligence. Their brains just look like amala (not even slander, I love amala but it’s true)

If they’re so dumb they must fall out of trees a lot no? Yes. But why doesn’t this kill them? They have higher than average quantity of cerebrospinal fluid in their brains. Basically natural shock absorber.

If they’re so stupid, how come they haven’t gone extinct you ask? Their diet. They eat eucalyptus leaves. Eucalyptus leaves are toxic to most other animals but not these guys. They are so hard to digest that koalas spend most of their day sleeping (18-22hrs) to process this shit

So basically no animal will eat them because they are full of poison. But they’re still dying out. Why? Because they have chlamydia. Which they can transmit to humans through their urine.

AND any medicine used to treat human chlamydia that is given to them is flushed out of their system like the poison they eat. Orrr the medicine makes it impossible for them to eat eucalyptus. So it is incurable.

Still on their terrible diet, obviously eucalyptus is abundant ‘down unda’ so it would make sense to evolve to only eat this shit that you can find everywhere AND will keep predators away. But no, these idiots will only eat 2-3 varieties of the plant... OUT OF 500-800!

So you could rescue a koala and think oh let me go to my backyard and pluck some fresh poison for you and they’d be like nahhhh this ain’t the right poison pls.

Oh and how does a baby koala (which I’m sure you think is even cuter than the adults) able to process eucalyptus with its underdeveloped digestive system??? It eats its mother’s poo. Yes, it nuzzles the anus of its mother to collect eucalyptus poo juice.

They can also be very violent and are known to attack people. Some guys went to a zoo to steal a koala and gave up because of how violent it was, finding it easier to steal the crocodile instead.

I mean just LISTEN to the sounds they make?!!!!!! What about this could possibly be “cute”???????? What is this??????

No forreal what the hell is this??????? Gross.

Oh and this hugging that they’re always doing? It’s not cus they’re cuddly creatures. They are just regulating body temperature. The trees help them cool down.

Alsoooooooo many herbivorous mammals have adaptations to cope with harsh plant life destroying their teeth, like rodents that have teeth that never stop growing, or others with enlarged molars that break down plant matter more efficiently.

Koalas. Have. NOTHING. When their teeth erode down to nothing, they resolve the situation by starving to death, because they are SO SHIT!

Anyway, I hope I have managed to convince you and not confuse you about why koalas are terrible and should never be associated with anything good.
Thank you for reading

As for ocean sunfish, I could make a thread about why they’re even worse than koalas but that wouldn’t come close to the art that is this Facebook post so, enjoy. (If y’all think I’m mad, read this )

https://m.facebook.com/hiitsmeurdad/posts/10209872292416464

Since you all seem to like threads, I have a thread of skits that I do on my Instagram which you might find entertaining
#ZeebaybzFridays https://twitter.com/zeebaybz/status/1132376923819126786