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Not done this for a couple of years, so standby for a retelling of the traditional Christmas story, using detail drawn from a little known historical source – the archives of the Bethlehem Police Department.
(As featured in @mrdanwalker's wonderful book 'Remarkable People')
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(As featured in @mrdanwalker's wonderful book 'Remarkable People')
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One document in particular, the BPD Daily Crime Bulletin, offers a fascinating insight into the work of a hitherto unheralded group of law enforcement officers – whilst shining new light on an old tale.
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Bethlehem Police Department
Daily Crime Bulletin
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(Date obscured – believed to be c.2000 years ago)
Late Turn (2pm-10pm)
Team Briefing
Day 5 of Operation Census
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Daily Crime Bulletin
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(Date obscured – believed to be c.2000 years ago)
Late Turn (2pm-10pm)
Team Briefing
Day 5 of Operation Census
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Substantial numbers of migrants arriving at border during past week
Low levels of community tension reported; no incidents of note in last 24 hrs
Large crowds expected in central Bethlehem this evening
No intelligence re: pre-planned disorder
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Low levels of community tension reported; no incidents of note in last 24 hrs
Large crowds expected in central Bethlehem this evening
No intelligence re: pre-planned disorder
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Terrorism Threat Level remains at ‘Severe’ (an attack is highly likely)
12 PCs on duty
(Handover note: Roads Policing chariot in for repairs – no replacement available).
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12 PCs on duty
(Handover note: Roads Policing chariot in for repairs – no replacement available).
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14.00hrs
Start of shift
2 PCs to fixed post at main Town Checkpoint
2 PCs to ongoing crime scene at Caesar’s Nightclub
2 PCs to constant watch in the cells
Remaining officers out on foot patrol
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Start of shift
2 PCs to fixed post at main Town Checkpoint
2 PCs to ongoing crime scene at Caesar’s Nightclub
2 PCs to constant watch in the cells
Remaining officers out on foot patrol
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15.00hrs
Routine patrols – High Street
Town Centre busy but peaceful
Reports of long camel queues on the main route into Bethlehem
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Routine patrols – High Street
Town Centre busy but peaceful
Reports of long camel queues on the main route into Bethlehem
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16.30hrs
Call to Civil Dispute in foyer of the Judea Travelodge
Apparent misunderstanding regarding double booking of main suite
Situation deteriorated as it became clear that there were no other rooms available – anywhere in the town.
Suspects became violent. Two arrests.
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Call to Civil Dispute in foyer of the Judea Travelodge
Apparent misunderstanding regarding double booking of main suite
Situation deteriorated as it became clear that there were no other rooms available – anywhere in the town.
Suspects became violent. Two arrests.
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17.15hrs
Suspect detained by staff at the Bethlehem Brasserie for theft of a jug of wine
Evidence consumed prior to police arrival
Suspect unfit for interview until tomorrow morning
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Suspect detained by staff at the Bethlehem Brasserie for theft of a jug of wine
Evidence consumed prior to police arrival
Suspect unfit for interview until tomorrow morning
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18.00hrs
Reports of possible UFO sighting - claims of a bright light, moving West to East at a height of several thousand feet
Area Search, No Trace
Believed Nuisance Call
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Reports of possible UFO sighting - claims of a bright light, moving West to East at a height of several thousand feet
Area Search, No Trace
Believed Nuisance Call
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18.30hrs
Multiple calls to disturbance on hillside a mile outside town
Reports of strobe lighting and loud music
Initial suspicions of an illegal rave in progress
On arrival, met by group of Shepherds and a large number of sheep
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Multiple calls to disturbance on hillside a mile outside town
Reports of strobe lighting and loud music
Initial suspicions of an illegal rave in progress
On arrival, met by group of Shepherds and a large number of sheep
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Shepherds claimed to have been visited by an angelic choir. Sheep useless as witnesses.
But, despite lengthy enquiries and a thorough search of the area, no sound system or lighting equipment found – and no evidence recovered suggesting the use of mind-altering substances.
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But, despite lengthy enquiries and a thorough search of the area, no sound system or lighting equipment found – and no evidence recovered suggesting the use of mind-altering substances.
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Shepherds initially threatened with arrest for wasting police time – but eventually given a Verbal Warning when they explained that they were leaving anyway.
Last seen running towards Bethlehem Town Centre.
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Last seen running towards Bethlehem Town Centre.
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19.30hrs
Call to an impromptu protest outside Town Hall.
Discovered a small crowd carrying banners, chanting slogans and demanding Judean independence from the rule of Rome.
Dispersed at request of officers without incident.
We may not have heard the last of them.
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Call to an impromptu protest outside Town Hall.
Discovered a small crowd carrying banners, chanting slogans and demanding Judean independence from the rule of Rome.
Dispersed at request of officers without incident.
We may not have heard the last of them.
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20.00hrs
Call from colleagues in the Judea Border Patrol.
They have stopped a group of Travellers who claim to have come from ‘Afar’ (unclear where this is).
The three who appear to be in charge are well dressed and claim to know something about the earlier UFO report.
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Call from colleagues in the Judea Border Patrol.
They have stopped a group of Travellers who claim to have come from ‘Afar’ (unclear where this is).
The three who appear to be in charge are well dressed and claim to know something about the earlier UFO report.
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Search of Travellers' luggage has revealed a quantity of gold and a container filled with an aromatic and suspicious looking resin.
Enquiries ongoing re possible offences.
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Enquiries ongoing re possible offences.
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20.15hrs
Update from Border Patrol:
Travellers able to prove ownership of gold – and the resin turns out to be something called Myrrh.
Checks confirm this isn’t a Controlled Drug.
Allowed on their way.
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Update from Border Patrol:
Travellers able to prove ownership of gold – and the resin turns out to be something called Myrrh.
Checks confirm this isn’t a Controlled Drug.
Allowed on their way.
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21.00hrs
Call to suspected Child Protection case.
Allegation of a newborn baby being cared for in wholly unsuitable circumstances – apparently in a stable, surrounded by livestock and with no heating or running water.
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Call to suspected Child Protection case.
Allegation of a newborn baby being cared for in wholly unsuitable circumstances – apparently in a stable, surrounded by livestock and with no heating or running water.
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Unmarried teenage mother with no obvious means of support aside from an older man claiming – without documentation – to be her ‘betrothed’.
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On arrival, found earlier group of Shepherds in street outside.
Initially threatened them with arrest for Obstructing Police – then saw expression on their faces.
Decided to see for myself what was going on.
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Initially threatened them with arrest for Obstructing Police – then saw expression on their faces.
Decided to see for myself what was going on.
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Ma’am, I’ve walked this beat for almost 30 years and I’ve seen most things that this line of work puts your way – but I have no words to describe what I saw last night.
No arrests necessary.
No explanation adequate.
But everything is different now.
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No arrests necessary.
No explanation adequate.
But everything is different now.
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By the time you read this, I’ll have finished my shift.
But if you have any questions about this report, you’ll find me back at the stable door.
If I may Ma’am – and if you have time – you really ought to come and see for yourself
Bulletin ends.
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But if you have any questions about this report, you’ll find me back at the stable door.
If I may Ma’am – and if you have time – you really ought to come and see for yourself
Bulletin ends.
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