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A Christmas tale! Sometimes the best gifts are ones you don't realize until years later. I had a Boomer rebel aunt. Spent the '70s as a hippie, then left our area in the '80s to dive into the nomadic druggie life. I didn't understand as a teen because she'd clean up for visits
Great aunt when I was little. Made cookies, did art with us, and when I became a teen she listened to the cool music with me. My favorite aunt. When she left, it hurt. The visits were to squeeze family for cash and promise she'd stay clean. Didn't.
She sent postcards to me from random stops. As time went on, I knew she was in a rough crowd, and considered them special messages saying she was ok. She wished me luck going off to college. Postcards stopped one year. I was old enough to know this was her choice, and that hurt.
My grandparents knew more and in bits of their chitchat when I'd visit, I could catch that my aunt had fallen into a dark place. Her choice. I had a full life at school, and didn't worry about it.
One winter break, the snow fell overnight + I woke up to drive to my grandparents house to shovel them out like a good grandson. I was done and went inside to let my grandpa know all was set, and who was sitting on the couch with coffee and a Cheshire cat grin? My aunt.
She looked terrible. Way thinner than normal and her eyes looked sunken in. Still smiling. We hugged + joked for a half hour. I went home + told my family. My parents rolled their eyes. "She'll leave once she's better." Siblings were happy. She's our fave aunt, man!
Christmas she gets us ridiculous joke gifts and gives me a couple flasks of booze to bring back to school. I wasn't a kid anymore so I got alone time with her one day and asked her, "You just going to jet when you are good again?" None of the nephews or nieces had questioned her.
Hit her like a ton of bricks. She broke down a bit, collected herself and told me she couldn't tell me everything but there was no going back. It was a death spiral if she did. She promised she wouldn't. It was part of the deal for going back to my grandparents.
I didn't trust her. I went back to school. The second week of February, I got a box with my grandparents return address, but from her. It was full of sweets and my aunt's cookies. Instructions to share with my friends. Last line she wrote was "I'm good."
That summer break now that I was 21, she happily took me out for drinks. She looked better. Met my gf, talked about the road, told us to stick to weed because other drugs are not worth dabbling in, and wished us well. At the 4th of July BBQ, she had a guy in tow.
Every single holiday, she sent me a care my last year in college. Now from her own place. At Halloween, she sent a coffin shaped box of candy, which my roommate saved to store the good liquor in our room afterwards.
She always told me she loved me, always said she was proud, and always got the best gifts for my kids. She was a toy whisperer. Things she got my oldest a decade ago, my youngest still plays with. She'd call my wife on mothers' day to tell her she was doing a good job.
Old lifestyle decisions caught up with her and she passed away recently. After the funeral, we nieces + nephews expressed how happy we were that her return that Christmas was a real return. My mom levelled with us about that Christmas.
My aunt had called from a payphone, and while my grandmother kept her talking, my grandfather literally ran to an uncle's house to start the phone tree, the calls to airlines and fundraising. He ran back once the money was secure.
It was a phone call intervention. Take the offer that everyone is paying for, a flight, shelter and outpatient treatment. If not, never call again. That was my aunts + uncles Christmas. No one bought any gifts for one another as their cash was already devoted to a bigger gift.
We got over 20 more years with her. It was an amazing gift for our family, and why I believe in second chances. You never know who is going to make the most of them. Merry Christmas
