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THREAD: Despite several years of singing Let It Go and Do You Wanna Build A Snowman at everything from posh corporates to kid's parties I have NEVER seen Frozen. I just put Frozen on.
Whoa these rock trolls are unexpected. I thought it was all about a gay emo ice lady and her peppy sister and some snowman guy who Jack Black turned down. #Frozen
Do You Wanna Build A Snowman is on and it turns out when I had to go "hang in there, Joan" for the birthdays of kids dressed as princesses it was actually Joan of Arc. #Frozen
Oh SHIT, the parents are dead? So many dead parents in kid's musical movies. #Frozen
It's OK though coz within 90 seconds there's a talking reindeer sharing a carrot with some dude. #Frozen
Kristen Bell has proper pipes, she has a great Disney princess vocal. Idina Menzel sounds awesome, I can't wait to hear her nail that E-flat later and remember that she was a pretty sweet Elphaba. #Frozen
We have a meet-cute with a gerjus prince and Ana so I guess he turns out to be a proper wrong 'un. Probably says stuff like "I've just never found women funny". #Frozen
Love Is An Open Door is from THIS?! STONE COLD BANGER. Anyway, this Kristoff guy is gonna turn out to be a bitch-ass fuckboi for sure. #Frozen
Heh, the kingdom treats Elsa like an X-Man, all scared of her powers n shit. #Frozen
Holy shit, that middle bit is her building herself a sweet ice palace? I thought she was straight-up killing her enemies. This is really gonna change how I approach it at 2021's kid's parties. #Frozen
Oh the prince isn't called Kristoff, he's called Hans. Definitely a bitch ass fuckboi. #Frozen
Here's the snowman guy. They should make a movie where he and Iago from Aladdin hang out together and Olaf is melting and Iago's like "idc". #Frozen
Fuckboi Hans is giving away all of Arundel's (it's near Chichester) tradable goods and the men in power are PEEVED at him. I'm Team Hans on this. #Frozen #fuckboi4Lyf
Elsa has gone FULLY insane in the space of about a day. She's conjuring snow demons, the lot. I say leave her to it. #Frozen
They're back with the rock trolls and they're just flat-out roasting Kristoff in a song. A kid just went "he pisses in the woods, the prick" (paraphrasing). #Frozen
Oh right so Ana needs "true love's kiss" and because this is modern Disney it's gonna be from Elsa coz it doesn't have to mean romantic love. I like this.
(if it turns out to be Kristoff I'll be a bit irritated) #Frozen
(if it turns out to be Kristoff I'll be a bit irritated) #Frozen
So Fuckboi Hans is storming Elsa's sweet-as-hell ice palace like a meninist Gaston. I'm in to it. #Frozen
Oh shit, Hans is an even bigger fuckboi than I thought! Instagram Jafar much!? #Frozen
Ana's in a room dying coz Hans is a total snake emoji and she still needs true love's kiss....Olaf has found her....why doesn't HE just kiss her? Fuckboi's everywhere in this fucking movie. Little girls gotta learn early these days. #Frozen
Oh shit Ana and Olaf are trapped coz the palace is turning to ice in exactly the same manner as the finale of Roland Emmerich's The Day After Tomorrow. #Frozen
Oh shit son, I fucking nailed it, the sisters were the true love.
How dafuq did they get a sequel out of this?! #Frozen
How dafuq did they get a sequel out of this?! #Frozen
Heh, Ana punched Fuckboi Hans and he fell in the lake. Hope he gets hypothermia and fucken dies. #Frozen
Oh NO, Elsa has frozen the town again, oh SHIT, this is exactly what the problem was in the first place, oh GOD! #Frozen
Me in 2014 doing a kid's party as Elsa looking like I'm about the do a porn parody of Frozen.
