BREAKING Violent clashes break out between desperate UK refugees and police in seaside town of Dover as frustrations boil over following closure of tunnel linking the ethnically divided, covid-ravaged, economically isolated island kingdom to rest of sub-Scandinavian Europe.

#BREAKING Despite being blessed with significant oil deposits, the island has been cursed by a history of ethnic strife and military belligerence, as well as monopolization of government by a nonagenarian monarch under the control of clownish far-white strongman, Boris Johnson.

#BREAKING The tribally divided island is trapped in vicious cycle of disease and instability, with AU-mediated Brexit peace talks on verge of collapse sparking fears of a massive refugee crisis as desperate Britons undertake dangerous journeys in search of better lives in Africa.

#BREAKING Last year, the AU was forced to intervene in troubled UK, which is strategically located at mouth of the Dover Straits, one of the world's busiest waterways, in circumstances bearing remarkable similarities to its intervention in strife-torn US. https://twitter.com/gathara/status/1176555327338274816?s=20

#BREAKING The AU has been helping the tiny countries of sub-Scandinavian Europe, a mish-mash of hundreds of tribes, many with common linguistic and cultural roots, speaking over 200 tongues, unite to make the EU an effective continental body that can coordinate covid response.

#BREAKING Reclusive island kingdom of Britain, a notorious tax evasion and money laundering hub, agrees Brexit deal with rest of sub-Scandinavian Europe following AU-sponsored peace talks. However, deal may fuel ethnic tensions in country's secessionist northern tribal districts.

#BREAKING Investigators in troubled US disrupt far-white, Christianist, anti-math terror plot targeting the covid-ravaged, north American country's electricity grid in apparent bid to stop power transitioning to moderate white opposition leader and President-elect, Joe Biden.

#BREAKING US despot, Donald "Papa Don" Trump issues pardon to fellow crime family boss, Charles Kushner, whose son is married to the corrupt dictator's daughter, with the couple also accused of abusing their public positions to vastly enrich themselves during Papa Don's tenure.