Thread by @its_me_lucyp, BT engineer is here to change me from Virgin. We are having [...]

BT engineer is here to change me from Virgin. We are having SCENES.

Poor Gary

Gary: where’s the socket Lucy?

Me: I don’t know

Gary: don’t you live here Lucy?

Me: I do but there’s a server cabinet & I don’t understand anything

*shows him the cabinet*

Gary: That’s the Virgin router? Where’s the BT socket

Me: I don’t know

Gary & I then prowled around the house checking all the rooms

Gary: am I ok to go here? & here & here?

Me: you go where you need Gary. Hang on let me ring Jonathan

Gary: ahhh the other half?

Me: ex other half, yes

*makes call. Gets Intel*

Gary & I then prowl around some more. Gary is baffled. There is a working line going into the house BUT NO SOCKET ANYWHERE

We go outside. It’s there but where does it go

Gary has numerous suggestions about how we can make this work including router to living room data cables to feed to server

Gary: do you know what I mean?

Me: kind of

Gary: could I maybe speak to your other half?

Me: ex other half but yeah sure I’ll ring him

Gary: well oooo err I don’t know your personal situation

Gary keeps asking if it’s ok to do things like drill & move furniture

I keep reassuring him that he can do whatever he needs to do & I won’t mind

*GARY SPEAKS TO JONATHAN*

Gary: what we decided is best is if we put the line in your spare room & he says he’ll do the data cables

Me: ok fine

Gary: is that ok though? He just said he’d come round & I don’t know your personal situation. You might not get on

Me: oh we get in great, we’re just not together. We’re doing Christmas together with the kids. Don’t worry

Gary: oh that’s lovely

I’ve just propped my gate open with a broken paving slab so Gary can get his ladders round. He is impressed with my ingenuity & grateful I’ve made the route easier however this is the most complex job he’s ever done

Poor Gary. 2 days before Xmas. You think you’ve got a simple days of bobbing round peoples houses to put new sockets on & instead you get ME

The drilling is about to start. I have offered more reassurance that noise & dust is fine & he can do whatever he needs.

Have said he doesn’t need to clear up after himself I’ll do it

Gary: the dust gets in the carpet. It’s horrible

I am not letting that poor man clean up

Me: I know you’re not allowed a coffee

Gary: no we’re not really meant to

Me: but do you want one?

Gary: oooo no. I’m really not allowed

I suspect Gary now thinks this is a fake job from head office designed to test him

We have again discussed how ridiculously complex this is

Me: thing is Gary nothing in this house is ever simple. Ever. Nothing ever works as it should

Gary: usually I come in, fit the socket & off I go

Me: well, it’s a story THAT BLOODY HOUSE

Gary: *whimpers*

I’m supposed to have a nail appointment in a but & I had text her to say that I might not make it but I would of course pay her in full for her time if I can’t make it. In 2 years I have never once missed an appointment or failed to pay.

She is now texting me asking what is

Happening & why haven’t I paid the deposit & I KNOW she is not aware that I had upsetting personal news at the weekend or that I almost burnt my house yesterday or that Gary is 90 mins deep into a job that should take 10 mins Max

but transferring a £10 deposit when I said I would pay in full if I was unable to make it is not my priority right now

The kids: when are we going to daddy’s? When are we going to daddy’s?

Me: can’t take you while poor Gary is still here can I? We will have to wait for Gary to finish

TWO HOURS IN THERE IS NOW A PHONE LINE

Gary: do you want me to give you the number

Me: I’ll never use it Gary

Gary: I know but do you want it just in case

Me: *grabs pen*

Gary: right, I’m just off now to check the line & then I’ll do the fibre & then I’ll be out your hair

Me: I am so sorry. I am so sorry this has taken you all morning

Gary: Lucy. It’s a weird one this because when I test the line. It says it’s active, but when I went up my ladder to the line. It’s just swinging in the wind. Not connected but our system says you are.

*Gary & Lucy discuss & ponder the weirdness of this for a bit*

Gary: anyway. I’ll get on & do the testing at the box up the road & then come back. It’s cold out. Colder than I thought. Had to put my bobble hat on

Gary has just adjusting all my pictures in the hall because they’re wonky & it’s “bad feng shui”

Me: where are you from?

Gary: up the road why?

Me: you sound very Yorkshire

Gary: yeah I’m from Leeds originally *adjusts another picture* I really like all these where are they from?

Me: oh she’s called Niagara, was in a punk band now an artist

Gary: oooo I was a punk

We’ve also had a chat about his kids & a limited edition jacket he really wanted that he got badly stung on import duty for

We googled Niagara. Showed him some pics of her

He’s gone up the road to do something with the BT box

Gary is just doing some final checks

I have tried to give Gary a bottle of champagne. He’s not allowed to take it

Me: but you’ve been here forever & I feel so bad & you’ve been great

Gary: well, not forever & it’s just my job

Gary thought he could leave. The system test is showing it’s kicking out 330mb but the router says 160 & he can not leave until I’m getting the speed I should be

Gary has gone to get his laptop. Might be a faulty router. A BRAND NEW FAULTY ROUTER

The senior engineer called about something else. Gary has run this all by him. Also baffled. Has suggested Gary rings BT direct

Gary: there’s no point Lucy. They’ll just tell me to pull your front steps up & that’s not the issue. The line is fine. The router is this issue

We’re almost 4.5hrs deep into this job. Error codes Gary has never seen before are coming up

He’s going to have to cancel all his other jobs

SORRY OTHER CUSTOMERS

We might be about to break for lunch

GARY HAS LEFT THE BUILDING!! I have 330mb speed

Gary: right. That’s it solved. I’m going

Me: it’s been emotional Gary

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