Thread. I once learned a valuable lesson about “unprofessional language.” This was during the Paleozoic Era of unfettered swearing at soldiers that so many Gen-X veterans look back on fondly, which makes me wonder if we even served in the same Army. https://www.armytimes.com/news/your-army/2020/12/19/top-enlisted-soldier-at-fort-hood-suspended-amid-investigation-into-unprofessional-language/

2. Day 1 of BNCOC. That’s ALC now, for you young’uns who are wondering. The briefer, a SGM, was getting his materials ready as we filed into the auditorium. The young soldier assisting him dropped a stack of documents & knocked over the easel. By this time we’re all seated.

3. SGM launched into the kind of colorful ass chewing we’d all received when we were young soldiers, with the SGM barely repeating an obscenity over the course of yelling at the private, who was braced at parade rest & just took it.

4. This builds character, some of us thought. The kid’s taking his ass chewing like a man, we thought. Hell, most of us had administered similar harangues, questioning everything from a soldier’s ancestry to his intelligence.

5. Finally, the SGM told the soldier to get out of his face. We were a rapt audience. The SGM left the easel & papers on the floor. He then got behind the lectern & blew our minds.

6. “Gentlemen, you’ve just witnessed what we don’t want to reach you here. You saw how we don’t want you to address or deal with soldiers, how not to motivate them when you return to your units.”

7. This was a complete 180 from how we’d been raised as pup soldiers. I even remember grumbling that the Army was going soft if it wanted to take away an NCO’s tried & true leadership tool. But the cadre was right. We just didn’t see it until after we left the schoolhouse.

8. A soldier screwed something simple up. He braced for one of my patented ass chewings, during which I might ask if his mother had children that lived. But I thought about what I’d learned at BNCOC, & just talked to the kid. What a turnaround. The kid really responded.

9. This is something I’ve carried with me in another industry rife with verbal abuse of subordinates, hospitality. Just like an NCO wouldn’t do it if an officer were present, we don’t do it in a guest’s view or hearing.

10. At almost every stop in my hospitality career, I’ve been the anti-yeller, to make up a word. Hey, let’s talk about your next steps for improvement. I respect you as a person & value your input. Works wonders. You don’t have to be a hardass roid rage SOB 24/7 to lead.

11. Anyway, that’s my 2¢ on leading with empathy. It works. It produces remarkable results. Don’t be that toxic leader whose position and/or authority everyone respects, but not the person. Here endeth the lesson.