Read on Twitter
Can we talk about this? I've seen it hinted at, but not flushed out. 2020 called for a lot of us to sit in things we didn't want to and had been avoiding. https://twitter.com/StoopidWild88/status/1341425890442563586
Some of us sat. Some continued to avoid.
We saw the effects of this play out in friendships, work, and our mental health
We saw the effects of this play out in friendships, work, and our mental health
I've talked before about how growth is uncomfortable, but is a necessary discomfort.
I've also mentioned that friction in relationships happens.
However, both of these things tend to be situations we approach willfully at some point or as a one-off.
I've also mentioned that friction in relationships happens.
However, both of these things tend to be situations we approach willfully at some point or as a one-off.
2020 said, "Gotcha, bitch!" and forced the whole world to address these things simultaneously with little to no control
We all had to choose to sit still or not.
Sitting still meant being honest with ourselves in a way we had not before. I get the want to run from that.
However, we also need to accept that such decisions come with fall out, no matter what you choose (or are forced) to do
Sitting still meant being honest with ourselves in a way we had not before. I get the want to run from that.
However, we also need to accept that such decisions come with fall out, no matter what you choose (or are forced) to do
2020 was both a great and devastating year for me.
I own 2 businesses. I saw them both grow this year. One with little effort, the other with all sorts of effort and stresses. I had to admit to myself that what I thought I wanted to do wasn't necessary lucrative.
I own 2 businesses. I saw them both grow this year. One with little effort, the other with all sorts of effort and stresses. I had to admit to myself that what I thought I wanted to do wasn't necessary lucrative.
I had to eat that and adjust. It worked
I also had to accept that many whom I had supported did not support me. I had to sit in that. Process it and move on.
It was not easy, but I had to do it and I'm glad I did.
I also had to accept that many whom I had supported did not support me. I had to sit in that. Process it and move on.
It was not easy, but I had to do it and I'm glad I did.
I also had to sit in the fact that comfort was stifling my corporate career. Stifling it. I was underpaid, over-worked and hella stressed. I had focused on how my company was mistreating me, but I suddenly had time to admit that comfort was keeping me there.
I had to get uncomfortable and admit that I had to take a risk to get out. I did and I am happy af I did. I love the company (and pay) I am with now.
Now, the greatest discomfort I experienced called for a similar level of accountability and hurt more: evaluating my friendships
We saw so many people tweet about whether or not expecting others to check on you during a pandemic is realistic.
However, no one touched on the root of this discussion: a lot of people had time to SEE certain friendships for what they were
However, no one touched on the root of this discussion: a lot of people had time to SEE certain friendships for what they were
We had the time and space to really look at what those friendships consisted of.
For most of my connections, the result was a stronger bond.
HOWtfEver, I had to let some people go
For most of my connections, the result was a stronger bond.
HOWtfEver, I had to let some people go
Ex: I've never been into the mean girl shit. I'm also not into the snide remarks masked as jokes. I lost a friendship because I realized that is her thing.
I was fully able to process her half-assed "I'm sorry if YOU took what I said that way" or "I don't recall that and I'm sorry if you think that's how it happened" apologies.
When I called it out, I was met with more gaslighting.
When I called it out, I was met with more gaslighting.
This pattern was not new, but it was the first time in the friendship I really had time to process it. She had to go.
2020 forced my busy ass to truly sit still and assess my entire life.
I reinforced boundaries. Strengthened bonds. Addressed my own traumas and flaws.
All sorts of shit.
Not because I wanted to, but because I had no where to go to avoid doing so.
All sorts of shit.
Not because I wanted to, but because I had no where to go to avoid doing so.
I'm happy I did and I did reap benefits from it. However, this shit has been exhausting and traumatic.
I recognize that it's been the same for others and for that, I will always give grace and space.
I recognize that it's been the same for others and for that, I will always give grace and space.
If NOTHING else, this year's common theme has been the acceptance that trauma (and healing) are prolonged. Trauma isn't just one single event, rather the aftermath of it to.
Healing isn't all cute and some sudden switch. It's work. It takes time and almost never ends
Healing isn't all cute and some sudden switch. It's work. It takes time and almost never ends
