2020 RPG retrospective
(with some 2019 cause why not)

I can say without any reservation that the last 2 years for me have been the most impactful re RPGs in my life. As the end of 2020 approaches some public navel gazing is in order, as well as guesses at what 2021 will bring.

Some super imprecise stats about 2020-2021

I’ve read more than 1000 rpg books

Ive played more games of more styles than I can talk about

My record is now 16 days of playing rpgs in a row

My twitter follower count went from less than 200 to (currently) over 1600

Im currently in over 60 discords(this has made me spend WAY less time on discord. See 2021 goals)

Ive now played rpgs with people from 5 continents

…

probably lots of other stuff that says “i guess youre into rpgs after all” but yeah. My life is meaningfully different.

How I Play

In 2019 the majority of my games were in person. I played a few online but it was maybe 1/4 or less of my games. In 2020 all of them are online. Not unique there! I MISS in person games. 2019 saw me finally fall in love with props, and 2020 took that away.

But in a lot of ways its actually been good for me. 2020 has forced me to get better at online games. I have a laptop from 2015(not for much longer ) and discord video killed my performance. It uses local resources. Its embarassing to open a browser and immediately lag.

The proliferation of Zoom, which is cloud based, meant I could play much more comfortably. I could look at character keepers on the same device rather than having to check my phone(bad online etiquette) or ipad. I actually quit a game in 2019 because of tech issues.

Its also flattened preferences. Basically everyone plays online now, everywhere in the world. And weve all collectively gotten better at it. There isnt an experiential difference between setting up a game with friends from the UK and friends who live down the street.

What thats meant is I now have multiple groups of different people I play with regularly from all different places. Great GMs and players. And thats had an impact on my confidence.

When you play with the same local group all the time you dont really know how good you are, as player or GM. Bad dnd is better than no dnd is a thing I see people say here and there. I kind of knew what I was good or bad at. Ish. But I have depression and anxiety.

How do I know Im not bad but available to warm a seat? Online play changes that. I still get anxiety about running games, and probably always will, but people I respect and dont know well have given me compliments. Thats empowering. Thats vindicating.

It also turns out Im incredibly lucky and have a great home group fwiw. Ive played with people that Ive heard called all stars and theres people in my home group Id rate just as highly. But how do you know until you know? And now I do know.

Online play also drastically widens what Ive been able to play. Local preferences and popularity literally dont matter. Trad games, indie games, the newest osr hotness or some experimental work in progress. Ive widened my circles and now I can play whatever im in the mood for.

Which, now that Im not an ENnies judge, means I get to figure that out. Ive played so much. Where are my preferences at these days? Probably still all over the place if my spending habits and twitter threads are any indication, but 2021 is going to be time I get to work on that.

2020 has also been a big year for me personally. Ive started my own rpg(s) in a more serious way. Ive paid for writing, art, an actual language. Ive been hired to do a pitch for someone else. 2021 is going to be a chance to explore what my role in the industry looks like.

I had planned to start a youtube series in 2020 about learning layout and depression and a shit computer made that not happen. Im finally getting a new laptop, and 2021 literally has to be better so Im hoping I can finally get around to doing that.

Id love to do a podcast if time permits. Some kind of read and discuss format. Youtube is probably better for doing first impressions than twitter threads and that might be worth considering too. If 2020 taught me anything though its that I cant be sure what will happen.

So Im putting together ideas and accepting that what time permits ill do. And what I cant do I need to accept is just part of life.

(Hell or high water Im doing more cons once the vaccine is widely available. I MISS cons)

So thats it! Some hopes and dreams, a lot of changes, some negative, a lot surprisingly positive. Its been a lot. I do want to add, finally and most importantly, thank you to all of you. Twitter can be a drama filled explosion in slow motion, but Ive been remarkably lucky.

You all have dealt with my bullshit, listened, commented with insight and humor. Ive made friends on twitter. Good friends! How weird is that?!?! But also wonderful. Talking to many of you has been the highlight of a nightmare year. Thank you so much.

I cant wait to see what 2021 brings, and share the hype and enthusiasm with all of you. Thanks for reading, happy gaming, and happy end of year