So five years ago today, I was waking up in New Jersey for the first time after flying over to spend Christmas with a guy from Camden I met on a bus in Nevada.

We got married 6 weeks later and this is what I've learned about America in the nearly 5 years since:
• The best ice cream is that Blue Bunny with the caramel bunnies in it. That stuff is the bomb. A lot of the other ice cream tastes a bit weird.

• The roads are REALLY bad on purpose so that you mess up your car and have to get it fixed all the time
• the sour cream doughnuts from Beilers in Philly are possibly the best in the world

• Americans are easily startled, and intimidated by rudeness. They also don't fight. I havent seen anyone fighting in the street since I moved here. I occasionally watch UK Caught on Camera to reminisce

There are signs like this here, which is good

• Americans love the "British accent" which they think of as like "Your DownToWn Abbey" and all say that they love your Monty PYthon. Why, I have no idea, since most of Monty Python is absolutely unintelligible to anyone without cultural references to suburban London c.1976

• I've not met an American yet who could really understand Phoneshop.

•Comforters and sheets are the work of the devil and were designed by Puritans to spoil the bed experience
•Everyone's allowed to rag on Delaware and should if given the chance