I went through middle school in the mid 1980s. The DJ for most dances was someone who went through middle school in the 1970s, which often meant they played several songs from their generation. I remember hearing Stairway to Heaven at several dances. I have fond memories. 1/

Stairway to Heaven is 8 minutes and 3 seconds long! It also starts off real slow, so it was considered a slow song. That’s right, if you asked a girl to dance with you, it was 8 minutes and 3 seconds long. And it could be a wonderfully long, awkward journey. 2/

During that time, you slow danced by putting your arms above each other’s hips with a weak marionette grasp & placed your feet shoulders width apart & just sort of rocked back & forth with about 3 to 12 inches between you depending upon chaperones & if you were going steady. 3/

About the 4 minute mark Stairway to Heaven moves from slow song to rock song, crescendoing into a guitar squealing, drum pounding, vocal screaming power ballad. There is nothing slow about it, but everyone just kept treating it like a slow song, rocking back & forth. 4/

I remember in 8th grade sharing this 8 min journey with a girl I was particularly fond of who was also about 5 inches taller than me. The music was so loud my eardrums hurt, the gym smelled liked old socks & sweat, & for 8 min my heart raced as Led Zeppelin took over our gym. 5/

After the power ballad reached it’s power zenith it finished slow like it started. & I just stood there, hands tired from 8 min of barely touching the waste of a girl I desperately wanted to like me. About 3 seconds after the song ended, we parted ways, my heart still racing. 6/

I’d like to thank the DJs who were 10 years older than us & just couldn’t help replacing our music with their music. I’d like to thank my parents for letting their “good Christian” kid go to those dances & thank God for all the wonderful mysteries of his creation. 7/7