My DnD group is taking a break from our all-bard indie folk band game to try the meme thing where you replace rolling dice with drawing random Cards Against Humanity white cards.

The starting area: The Feywild. The starting players: Three wild magic sorcerers.

We all have three or more backup characters ready, because this doesn’t seem like a oneshot the little folks will survive.
The plan is to switch DMs at each death, because all of us want to DM this mess.

My first backup character for after my sorcerer dies is Paul Hollywood, a halfling barbarian based on Paul Hollywood. He’s my first barbarian PC ever and I’m so excited.
I’m also excited because I’ve been DMing for a while and it’ll be fun to play again.

Feeling all my petty rules-lawyering tendencies kicking in. Must...resist...

First card of the game! “Powerful thighs.”
As an arcana check it yielded some useful information.

“Old people smell.”
As a history check it was useful.

My investigation check was, “Some punk kid who stole my turkey sandwich.”
The DM gave me information someone had told me they stole from an archfey, before absconding with said sandwich in turn.

We’re trying to fix an archfey’s magic plumbing problem.
Perception check: “A good, strong gorilla.”
I was looking into a cave, so the DM interpreted it positively. This makes sense. It all makes so much sense.

For an acrobatics check with advantage, I drew “Telling a shitty story that goes nowhere.” and “Consensual sex.”
I was trying to climb through a hole in the ceiling, so consensual sex was definitely the way to go.
Hole related jokes abounded.

The DM decided “Consensual sex.” was in fact a nat 20. My little guy got to do a backflip, which was nice for him. No one was looking, though.

With “An old man who’s almost dead.” as my perception check, I’ve had my worst failure so far.
My lad is quite lost.

We’ve befriended the spirit of a long-dead king in his tomb, and we’re telling him stories of our travels. I love him.

No one is dead yet, which means I have yet to bring out Paul Hollywood the barbarian or get my shot at DMing. I’m a touch saddened.