I know not everyone wants another sappy marriage thread, but on the eve of our nikaah anniversary and as the year draws to a close, I have some feelings and advice to pass on.

Before you get married, people are incessant and intrusive about when you're going to get married. Once you're married—and, gasp, in love—these people turn heel and hit you with "you're a newlywed now, wait until you're sick of each other." This is, in a word, insufferable.

I feel, though, that this is a valuable reminder: Your wedding and its parties are beautiful because all these people get together and celebrate you and your beloved. But when the cake has been eaten and everyone goes home, the work is on you and your spouse to love each other.

This is where I want to offer some actionable advice, so that this isn't just "I'm married, guys": Marriage is marked by love, by trials, by mistakes, by forgiveness, by joy, but I've also come to see marriage as celebrating another person and your shared love—every day.

A sobering realization I've come to is that, even when it comes to loving friends and family, their lives go on every day, with or without your presence. But when it comes to your spouse, your lives are—as we always say—shared.

With that shared life comes the daily calling to love and cherish—indeed, to celebrate—another person, because if you don't, who will? Marry someone who will take pride in you, and in whom you can take pride. Celebrate your victories, big and small, every day with them.

If you are someone who needs to be celebrated but are unable to do so for someone else, without being asked, you have room to grow. If you keep score with others, you have room to grow. If unconditional service isn't in your vocabulary, you have room to grow.

My dad and older brother both passed this on to me since the day I got married. "Celebrate your milestones, do special things for your wife, create memories." These are acts of service, they soften our hearts, ennoble our marriages, and get us through difficulties of all sorts.

At the end of what has been a particularly difficult year for everyone, I am immensely thankful for having the steadiness and companionship of my wife, who celebrates me and our love every day. Just as moon is sure to be in the night sky, my shimmering wife is by my side.

And so, on the night of our nikaah anniversary, I wore the kurta payjama I wore that night and ordered takeout from the restaurant that catered the event. We shared a pleasant candlelit dinner and exchanged gifts, because our celebrations don't stop for a pandemic.

May God fortify our marriages and protect us from the wayward gaze of others, may He unite the hearts yearning to be celebrated by another, may He make whole the love of the broken-hearted and unrequited, and may He make us worthy companions for worthy spouses. Ameen.