Top 10 things you shouldn’t say on first date:

10. “So yes, you can eat human hair if it’s in the right sauce.”

9. “My fantasy. People who dress in bird costumes. Like the Baltimore Oriole. Or this crow costume I have in my trunk.”

8. “Let’s get to know one another. How many times have you accidentally kidnapped a random resident in town?”

7. “Socks. That’s it. Just love the sound of the word.”

6. “No pressure. But after the third date, I really hope you’d be open to shaving my face.”

5. “I love the Lakers.”

4. “I gave up smoking years ago. The same day I burned down that small village.”

3. “Love takes time. So does building an arsenal fit for the militia I hope to start.”

2. “I believe that we are made for one another. I mean literally made for each other. Do you believe that you’re a robot too?”

1. “You sleep peacefully. I know. I’ve watched.”