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FYI if you know somebody who has a chronic illness, chronic pain, invisible illness or an invisible disability here are a few things to know. 1/..
1. NEVER say it's all in our heads, we don't look sick/disabled/in pain unless you want to FUCKING DIE. Trust us if we say these things. this is not something we'd lie about.
2. If you ask us how we are and we reply with fine/good etc.. do NOT ask really? Be honest. Unless you are REALLY prepared for that answer.
3. If we don't want to say anything more than fine/good it's NOT about you. It's simply we need a day off from what we're dealing with/living with. I get tired telling people how bad I feel. I get tired of being in pain. I just want to talk about other things.
4. If we cancel plans or tell you we're not up to going out. Again this isn't that we don't want to see you. If you are upset so are we. Some of us don't get invited out by friends/family that much anymore. We're just as upset as you are.
5. If you want to do something nice, offer to make us a meal or bring us a meal. Offer to pick up groceries or run errands for us. There are times we don't get out of the house to do these things.
6. On a day when we are feeling well offer to help us make some meals to freeze for our bad daus. We can wear ourselves out on our good days and be in a flare up of our condition for weeks/months.
7. If you want to buy them a gift, look up online for ideas that might help them with what they have. For example I have fibromyalgia my feet can get ice cold and yet at the same time my feet will be too sore to wear socks. So loose comfy socks or a lap blanket can be helpful.
8. If we have to cancel our plans and aren't up to having company offer us a rain check for a day when we are feeling better. Offer to talk on the phone instead. or Offer to drop off a meal for us.
9. Realize it takes much more out of us to do every day things than it does you. Take for example a shower, there are days where I just don't have the energy to take a shower. I could get in to the shower but my shoulders hurt too much to wash my hair. etc..
and finally just believe us when we say we're sick. That we have a chronic illness/chronic pain/invisible illness/invisible disability. So many people don't believe us. Even some doctors don't believe our condition is real. Having someone believe us means so much. 11/11
