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Re: LRT
We don’t talk enough about how our faith in intelligence and hard work to solve problems actually enables abusers.
We don’t talk enough about how our faith in intelligence and hard work to solve problems actually enables abusers.
Abusers operate by taking advantage of your strengths.
If you think you’re strong and capable, they will tell you that you’re capable of changing them, and so anything bad they do is because you didn’t change them hard enough.
If you think you’re strong and capable, they will tell you that you’re capable of changing them, and so anything bad they do is because you didn’t change them hard enough.
Abusers operate with one fundamental lie: that you are in charge of your own abuse and you can end it with the right behavior.
Sometimes being strong and smart just means that you make up dozens of strategies to take control. Meanwhile, your failure to do so shreds your self esteem.
Abuse can happen to anyone, and saying abuse doesn’t happen to smart people perpetuates abuse. It makes it harder for people to come forward, because doing so will crack the public shell.
It feels like giving up to say, “I can’t change this relationship.”
It is just recognizing the inevitability of boundaries, and abusers are really good at eroding your ability to recognize boundaries.
It is just recognizing the inevitability of boundaries, and abusers are really good at eroding your ability to recognize boundaries.
