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@Endernax_ Hey, listening to your debate with Merrick. I think there are a lot of reasons why men are aggressive that aren't because they're men. I think men can be very soft, even when they're brimming with testosterone.
I think that messaging is dangerous, and that we instill in our boys the notion that they are warriors, defenders--inclined towards violence--and that it's not actually true.
Men are simply built stronger, never have to bear the burden of pregnancy.
Men are simply built stronger, never have to bear the burden of pregnancy.
Society has calcitrated this way; what I think is really damaging to young men is that they are told in many ways that their sexuality is violence.
Then they are told that sex is taboo, you can't talk about it, and that it's a shame--and shame compounds in secrecy.
Then they are told that sex is taboo, you can't talk about it, and that it's a shame--and shame compounds in secrecy.
In the U.S. many of our boys are circumcised--a traumatic involuntary experience, exposing their sensitive penis to the elements, that teaches our baby boys that their genitals are a mistake, that they are dangerous, unwelcome and ugly.
Few give credence to just how traumatic circumcision is, or how it affects baby boys. The message is "cut off sensitivity". "Don't masturbate"--"your sexuality is not something we want you to have".
But we're often confused into thinking that it's for health, or aesthetic.
But we're often confused into thinking that it's for health, or aesthetic.
Then our boys are raised with mixed messages about their relationship to girls. We're taught simultaneously that girls are gross and have cooties, and that it's wrong to be homosexual.
As we grow older we're taught that sex and domination over women is a form of status.
As we grow older we're taught that sex and domination over women is a form of status.
Our civilization of men have grown up learning that being able to secure sex whenever you please is a measure of your worth as a man. (Historically men have a very difficulty time reproducing compared to women--mostly because of the commodification of women through marriage.)
What I believe is must dangerous about pornography online, is that it is often this portrayal of sex, and the communities surrounding it, that are the only forms of catharsis that men find within their hidden lives of secrecy, shames and doubts.
I agree with you that pornography often teaches men how to rape, by reinforcing myths about women, by showing them particular skills such as rope binding, and by giving them the time and a visual outlet for their repressed feelings.
I suppose what I'd like to ask of you, is that you consider the validity of communities that are designed to help men relate to their sexuality, and--as much as people are opposed to the idea, in my experience--resources for abusers seeking help.
The shame that compounds in secrecy of porn and rape addiction only become more difficult to escape as the abusers actions become more incriminating; there clearly needs to be some recovery program to pull men out of their worst compulsions, despite their fear of consequences.
All the better if men are instilled with the hope that a loving relationship is possible, although that may take epiphany level disillusionment of the mind to overcome learned biases, many of which are reinforced through pornography.
